Thanksgiving is coming

Thanksgiving is coming up fast.  This Thursday we will all gorge ourselves until we are sick on turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberries and the like.  I really like the green bean casserole, but that is besides the point.

Thanksgiving started as a tradition to remember a feast between Native Americans and the Pilgrims.  While this is a somewhat rosy picture, the point is still there.  We gather to give thanks for the year that has past.  We take time to reflect on all of the blessings in our lives and to do so with great friends and family. What could be a better gratitude exercise?

This year I have much to be thankful for.  I am healthy, I have a positive net worth, I have a lot more self worth.  I met the man.  I have the best besties a girl could ask for.  I have a new business and a new job. I have a wonderfully loving and supportive family.  I have accomplished so much personally.  I barely recognize the person I was a year ago at this time.  I am a happier and it shows. 

I try to keep a gratitude journal every day.  Each day I write down a five things that I am thankful for.  I notice that when I do this, I feel better about myself.  I realize the good things are worth concentrating on, not the little annoyances throughout the day.  I have said it before, and I still urge all of you to keep your own gratitude journal. Keep it all year, not just during Thanksgiving.  We all have things to be thankful for every day.

Back to Life

I have taken a little time off of the blog as many of you have noticed.  It has been a matter of adjusting to the new schedule, and finding the best time to do this everyday.  I think that I finally have a handle on it.  I have been feeling better than ever.  And I have been starting to reflect on all that I have accomplished this year.  I set out to be happy if it killed me.  I am happy to report that I am still alive, and I am happier than ever.

I met a wonderful man, I found a new job that is much better for me, I have traveled to several different places, I started a business, I have read many many great books (and some not so great ones too)  I have my besties, my college friends, my family and my mom.  I have so much to be thankful for.  I am healthy, I am happy and I am truly blessed.  How on Earth am I going to manage to top this year?  I cannot wait to find out.

Hitch

Today, I found Heavy D passed away.  It made me think of the song "Now That We Found Love".  That led me to the movie Hitch.

Hitch is not the best movie.  It is not the worst movie either, but Kevin James makes me laugh so hard I could cry.  Everyone has their version of Hitch.  My mom's is Home Alone.  The man has The Blues Brothers.  I would hope that you have one too.  I call it a guaranteed laugh.  I put on Hitch, and just watch Kevin James dance. 

Everyone needs a guaranteed laugh.  Mine is Hitch.

Daylight

Today is one of my favorite days of the year.  Sometimes, I like it better than Christmas.  I am talking about the end of Daylight Savings time.  I got an extra hour to sleep.  Plus, tomorrow, I will not be driving into work in the complete darkness.  Oh happy day.

Also, today brings to close the first week of the man and I's $10.00 date month.  We did not do too poorly.  Wednesday came in at about $5.00, Friday at our full $10.00 and yesterday's dinner cost $9.47. I am glad we are doing this.  It allows us to become more creative and try new places.  Yesterday we went to Senor Tacos down the street from me.  We split a massive three taco meal and found that it was the perfect amount of food for both of us.  I am excited to see what will come in the next couple of weeks.  Hopefully we can inspire others to come up with some $10.00 dates as well.

Good day sunshine

Since I have been getting up before the sun, and getting to work before the sun, I have missed it.  I do get to spend a little time with it when I leave work, but today it was a little cloudy all day.  It is funny how you take things like the sun for granted.  It is only since I have been missing the sun in the morning that I am even thinking about it. 

Despite the lack of sunshine, I had a good day.  I had a great day at the job, a wonderfully productive shopping trip after work for an upcoming vendor event for PartyLite and I have enjoyed an evening to myself.

I think I am going to go to bed dreadfully early as, alas, there is no sun now either.

Date Night!

OK so the first $10.00 date is in the books.  I roasted the $2.20 chicken, and instead of broccoli, we had spinach and couscous.  We went for a walk and watched Modern Family.  It was a great evening, and well under the $10.00 budget.

One observation that the man had, and has had before is that we do seem to be Mitchell and Cam on that show (me being the over the top Cam, and he the neurotic Mitchell).  It is funny, because virtually every couple I know can relate to one or another tv couple.  I used to fantasize myself as a Carrie Bradshaw type character, albeit with less fabulous shoes.  I can relate to Carrie on a different level though. Carrie had her girlfriends.  The show may have been named Sex and the City, but it was really about the friendship between the four women.  I am lucky to enjoy the type of relationship that those women had with my besties.  As for Cam, well, he and I both have a bit of flair for the dramatic (in fact, I am DYING to use the phrase, "Yesterday's lazy cures today's crazy" in real life) and we both enjoy nurturing our men.  I would never be caught in a shirt that had flowers embroidered on it, and I am sure that Cam would refuse to wear polka dots and skirts.  I guess no one's parallel characters are perfect.  Who is your tv alter ego?

And so it begins...

Tomorrow is the big test.  It is the first date night with the man during the $10.00 date month.  Dinner shall be a $2.08 chicken that I am going to roast along with some fresh broccoli at $0.59 a pound and couscous that I have on hand already.  So far we are under budget.  It is a good sign.  We will probably just go for a walk after dinner (hint hint, I love walks in the fall) and then watch Modern Family.  I believe that the mission will be accomplished, but you never can tell.

I am also looking at establishing goals for next year.  I have been thinking about all I have accomplished this year and looking towards what I can accomplish next year.  It is exciting but daunting.  I always seem to bite off a little more than I can chew.  This makes me feel kind of bad, like I didn't accomplish everything that I set out to.  I also realize that I set a lot of objectives last year, not goals.  Goals are objective and measurable.  Writing "take more pictures" is not.  Perhaps on January 1, I will start the 365 project that I am always talking about.  Not perhaps.  I will do it.  The goal will be written as "I will post one picture everyday in 2012 on my 365 project".  That is a goal.  See the difference?  I realize that I am ahead of the game a little bit, but it helps to get everything set and ready to go on January 1.

Halloween

This was the first of what I hope is many Halloweens with the man.  He loves the holiday.  I am sort of ambivalent about it.  For instance, I would rather light myself on fire than put on a costume, he thinks of something to dress up as every year to hand out candy.  I use candy for decoration (OK, I am eating some of the candy corn now...) he stockpiles it because he loves to eat it.  I am happy with a few pumpkins and a Halloween tree, he has a plethora of Halloween decorations and relishes putting them all out.  He picks out pumpkins to carve, I pick up cans of pumpkin to cook with.  You get the point.

While these differences seem like they are vast, I think that they balance us.  While I doubt that I will ever be convinced to dress up, and he will be able to see pumpkins as a food source, we can certainly meet in the middle.  That is the great thing about this relationship.  We are able to compromise. 

In the meantime, he is picking out the perfect Christmas cookie recipe, and I am looking for the perfect pair of boots...

Working for the Weekend

This weekend was another great one.  The man and I are set to begin our new $10 date month the day after tomorrow.  We decided to practice in New Glaryus on Saturday.  We came close.  There was a $3.50 beer tasting, a trip to the cheese store (don't laugh, I LOVE cheese) and all the beautiful scenery we could handle.

This week is now officially my third week of getting up at 5:00 am.  Technically, this should be the last week before it is a habit.  While I am kind of sad, I am excited, as I have discovered that I like getting home earlier.  I just have to get a handle on bedtime being at 10:30.

Have a great week everyone!

Everyday is a Winding Road

Tonight was girls night.  We were all a little off.  One of the besties had both of her children with her (who seemed to be a little off themselves) and had to leave early, as bedtime was fast approaching and naptime did not last as long as originally intended.  The other bestie has had some troubles at her office, and is feeling overwhelmed.  I myself am still adjusting to my new schedule and have forgotten to take my vitamin D supplements for a couple of days hence, I was exhausted as well.

The truly great thing about Girls night is that no matter what happens or doesn't happen we are still together.  We help each other and we understand each other.  I think that that in and of itself is more comforting than two sleeping children, acknowledgement of a job well done or three days worth of sleeping in.  I am glad that even after all of these years, and life changes that we are able to take the time each Thursday to be together, even when things are tough.  I am lucky to have these two wonderful women in my life.

Can't buy me love

After all of these vacations the past month, a few new pairs of shoes, a COBRA payment and just life, this girl is a little cash poor.  It turns out the man is stretched a little bit too lately.  We have collectively come up with a new plan for November.  We are only going to go on dates that cost $10 or less total.  Meaning TOTAL.  No date shall cost more than $10.00 USD. 

This joint venture is going to take a fair amount of creativity and some good old fashioned home cooking, but I believe that we are up for the challenge.  Who knows.  Maybe this will end up being so fun that we will do it a little more often.  At any rate it will be interesting and a bit creative.  Life for us is about to change...

Here are some ideas that we have come up with so far:

1) Dinner and a movie.  We go to the grocery store with $10 and pick out wine, food and a redbox movie
2) City Pass from the Library (more research is needed on this one, as I am not sure if his library offers this as mine does not)
3) Day trip to starved rock
4) Day trip to Lincoln Park Zoo
5) Book Night
6) Game Night
7) Library movie and Pizza

I am sure we will find more, but this seems to be a good start.  And if all else fails we already know that we have fun no matter what we do.  That in and of itself is worth more than any theater tickets or bottle of wine.

Shake Some Action

Tonight was another PartyLite training.  I love how motivated I feel after I leave there.  Now, I just need to put these ideas into practice.  I did make the most delightful discovery on my phone though.  I have a memo pad as an app.  I simply put things that I need to accomplish this week for each of my five passions on the phone.  While I do write these things on post its in my planner for the week, this is with me all of the time.  I can erase as I get things done and then move on. 

Speaking of my top five passions (which I got from taking The Passion Test), I recently reviewed my Passion Test and revamped my top five.  I even went one step further than last time and made the recommended "Passion Sheets" detailing the benchmarks to know when I have hit each passion.  It is recommended to retake the test every 6 months, and frankly, I was surprised by what came up for me to concentrate on for the next six months.  I do believe that these new passions of mine were a direct result of being in a miserable work environment that I was eager to escape.   So for the next five months and change I will concentrate on being balanced, surrounded by love, a successful blogger, (so if you read this tell your friends!), enjoying my ideal relationship (the man is thrilled to be able to help with this one) and laughing the whole time.  While I know for a fact that this system works (I accomplished most of the previous five passions in about six months) I am eager to see how these passions play out.  Many times, things don't look exactly how I imagined them to be when I wrote the Passions, but they are accomplished just the same.  I will keep you posted!

Working at the Carwash

The man has been busy.  While I was on vacation this weekend, he detailed and waxed my car.  He got me a new plant (which we will call Phil), he picked me up from the airport, and fed me dinner tonight.  He has done all of this and more for me.  I appreciate all of this, but sometimes, I have to admit that it freaks me out a little bit.

I now completely understand the Sex and the City episode where Carrie's computer crashes and she has a hard time letting Aidan help her.  Like Carrie, I am worried that I will get used to having all of this help and become dependent on it.  What is a girl to do if her boyfriend who loves the clean car and is willing to do all of the work to get it clean and keep it that way is no longer around to do these things? While it would be easy to motor on over to Turtle Wax, I think that the psychological damage would be greater.  I worry about my independence atrophying.  I like taking care of myself, and I am working hard on letting the man help in this endeavor, but it is hard to let go of some of these things.  Is independence like a foreign language, if you don't use it, you lose it?  Or is this another sign that this relationship is different than any other I have been in. 

I know that this relationship is truly a partnership.  The man and I are a team.  I just have to let go and throw him the ball.  And keep my car clean...

We are Family!!

Every year, the women in my family all get together in a different city to relax and catch up.  This year we decided to meet up in our nation's capital to do a little Civil War history.  We went to Gettysburg, and today we did part of the John Wilkes Booth Escape route.  We have learned about Robert Lee's bold attempt to break the Union lines at Gettysburg (this was not the best strategy he could have employed). We spent time in Ford's Theater, the Peterson house, the Surratt boarding house (which interestingly enough is now a Wok and Roll restaurant with a plaque outside), the Surratt Taven and the Mudd House.  We met and took a picture of an actual descendant of Dr. Mudd.

Part of the adventure is the laughter and companionship, there is never a dull moment.  The other part is the interesting things that we see.  While I do hold out hope that we will someday continue our Ghost walk trip, these ladies have helped shape me into the woman I am today.  Even as I write this, we are laughing about Disco music and the Abraham Lincoln activity books that we have now to commemorate this trip.

So far we have been to Washington D.C (twice), Savannah, Providence, Springfield IL, Las Vegas, Philadephia.  We have made some great memories and we laugh all of the time.  I cannot wait to see what will happen next.

Plans

Not only is Plans a great Death Cab for Cutie album, having plans is a kind of security blanket for me.  I have plans for everything.  I have a five year plan, a one year plan, a one week plan, and a plan for tonight (which will more than likely be changing quite rapidly here).  Planning makes me feel better about things because I feel like I have a direction.  I have a road map to where I want to be and I have broken it down to smaller steps.  For me, there is nothing like accomplishing my goals (which were planned out!).  In the great words of Hannibal from the A-Team "I love it when a plan comes together". 

The man is one who does not take comfort in planning.  He has goals and ambitions but feels that planning everything out leaves room for the plans to fall through.  While this is a completely rational line of thought, I struggle with it.  While I agree that I cannot plan for everything (but I can certainly try!) I can plan what to do in certain events, such as job loss or an accident or a bad hair day.  I feel like having these plans gives me a place to start to pick up the pieces, and a place to begin. 

One day, we will be able to agree and figure this out together.  I am not going to mark a day on the calendar, but I am quite certain that we can figure something out.

Day 2...

So today was the second day of the new job.  The good news, I was able to get up before my alarm.  The bad news, my alarm goes off at 5:00 am.  This is already getting easier. A long journey begins with a single step right?

Throughout this whole process, I have been reminded that I have a great support system.  I have my mom, who is always willing to provide advice.  My dad is around to help in any way he can, and it is always worth a laugh.  I have the besties, who are always there to listen to me whine, or make me laugh or even show up at a gathering of former co-workers.  I am also fortunate to have the man, who has been wonderfully supportive throughout this whole process and always there with a hug when needed. Not to mention the countless number of other friends and family members who have helped me along this journey by simply listening and being there.

It is easy to take these people for granted, and I am sure that everyone has people that they know they can count on and maybe feel the same way.  Thinking about all of this helps me to remember that I am not alone.  I am surrounded by love and I sincerely hope that everyone can feel this at some time.

In Training

Training.

It is such a simple concept really.  Training is defined on the Merriam Webster Dictionary Online as:

1

a: the act, process, or method of one that trains b: the skill, knowledge, or experience acquired by one that trains

2

: the state of being trained

 

I am currently in the state of being trained at the new job and I attended training for PartyLite this evening.  I am also training for a 5K run and training myself to write in my gratitude journal every night, and wake up every morning at 5:00 AM.  If all goes according to plan, within the next month or so, I will be able to do all of these things without additional training.  I know that all of this training will pay off in the long run, but sometimes, like now, it seems like a hassle. 

 

Here is the great part though.  Training brings results.  I am learning how to do a completely new job that will eventually lead me to bigger and better jobs along the way (and help with my little candle business).  The PartyLite training that I received will help me grow my business.  Running and gratitude will make me feel better about myself and getting up at 5:00 AM will help me accomplish everything that I need to do in the day.

 

I just need to keep my eyes on the prize.

 

What kinds of things are you training for?

Tomorrow, the next frontier

Tomorrow is a very big day.  For the first time in seven years, I am starting a new job. It is exhilarating and frightening at the same time.  I am excited to meet new people and completely shift gears in my career.  I am finally feeling like I am starting a career.  It feels like I am a real grown up.

So many things have happened in the past two weeks, and I have been a little stretched.  I have not been posting as I usually do, and I hope that you can understand.  I have been a busy girl!  Getting ready for the new job while celebrating six months of dating the man (not really too hard : ) ) raising money for the American Cancer Society's Making Strides (it was this morning!), hanging with the besties, and running the PartyLite business has been a lot to balance.  I have felt a great relief getting all of these things accomplished while having a mostly clean house, it has taken a toll.

I promise to do better at posting. Lord knows that there will be plenty of new material coming my way.  And I look forward to all of it.

Practice Makes Perfect

Perhaps it is because the sun is going down earlier.  Maybe it is because I have been so stressed out lately, but I cannot seem to keep my eyes open after ten o'clock.  This is actually a good thing.

With the change in my job comes a change in my hours.  I am finding myself having to practice getting up at 5:15 am so that I am ready to start my job on Monday at the proper time.  We all know how important sleep is to me (and others who have to spend time with me) and I am sure I will be able to keep up on my sleep.  Thank goodness I am able to do this in autumn.  By summertime, I should be primed and ready to stay up past 10!

Decisions Decisions

It seems like every day I have more decisions to make.  For instance, I wake up and decide what shoes to wear, and then what clothes.  What will I have for lunch, dinner, who will I talk to after work, what will I watch on TV for my glorious sixty minutes of television (it is still working for me).  Then there are harder decisions, like do I leave my job, which job do I take, is the salary they are offering me enough?  Thankfully, those decisions are all made and now, I find myself trying to decide what direction I want my blog to go in.

I like the online journal thing I have going on.  I have been given some positive feedback on recipes.  I am wondering if I should kick it up a notch and do a year long project of some kind.  Another decision to make, but a happy one.  And fulfilling.

Thanks to all those who read this.

Tomorrow is only a day away

Tomorrow.  Ah tomorrow.  The day that every procrastinator dreads.  Tomorrow is always when I say I will put away my laundry and finally pick up in my office.  Tomorrow is when I am going to make the dreaded phone call and pay my bills.  The old saying never put off until tomorrow what you can do today does not apply.  Neither does one of my favorite quotes from Mother Theresa "Yesterday is gone, tomorrow has not yet come, we only have today." 

Now, I would like to think that these sayings are meant to remind us to not take tomorrow for granted.  That we should be thankful for everyday that we wake up and can procrastinate some more.  Even on a less spiritual level, I would like to think that these quotes mean that you should not wait until tomorrow to tell a loved one that you love them, or make a good change in your life (like quitting smoking or making a doctors appointment).  However, in my heart I know that while these things are true, this is not the essence of these sayings.

Living in the moment and not taking tomorrow for granted also means that we need to take care of the messy stuff in life too.  The stuff we don't want to deal with (like a mountain of laundry that needs to be put away) still needs to be done, and the sooner it is done the less time you have to worry about it.  Or in my particular case, look at it.  Life is too short to spend time not worrying about the messy stuff.  I just need to motivate myself to actually do it and get it over with.

Progress Report

Tonight, I will give you a update on my conditions for optimal happiness.

1) Hydration.  I have been making a more concerted effort in this area, and I feel great.  The days that I don't get enough water really stand out to me.

2) Sleep.  Since my current employment situation has been figured out, I have been sleeping better. I am no longer waking up at 4 am and not able to go back to sleep.  I am sleeping more soundly as well.  All it took was to get rid of some stress.

3) Running.  I have been making more time for this too.  I increased a couple of items and this has affected my distance.  But I am running faster and at a better incline.  And it makes me feel good.

4)  Reading.  I have been reading for at least an hour every day.  It feels fantastic, and I am on track to meet my fifty book goal this year.

5) Clean.  My house is quite clean lately.  In fact a little bit of clutter has been driving me nuts lately.  This is one area that I find myself constantly having to work at.  It seems like there is not enough time in the day sometimes, but the ten minutes I should be spending at this a day really make a difference.

I hope you are making progress as well!

This is so not the best day ever.

Even the Happiness Warrior can have a bad day.  Want to know what is going on here?  I cannot get my printer to recognize my wireless network.  For some reason I am starving at ten (even after dinner and dessert!)  I have not had all of my water, my house is a mess and I didn't get my run in.

But none of this matters in the grand scheme of things.  All of these are problems that can be fixed.  I can pay someone to fix the printer issue (after I let the man have a crack at it).  I can space my snacks out  better tomorrow so I won't be starving at ten.  I can make sure that I drink all of my water.  I can put a few things away in the house and I can wake up a little earlier tomorrow and get my run in.  The important things are that I was able to spend a couple of hours with my mom tonight, I was able to be on my candle conference call, I am healthy I am happy and I am in control.

After all, tomorrow is another day!

I am Batman

Yes dear reader, much like Bruce Wayne, I, the Happiness Warrior, have a double identity.  While my other identity does not have a cape or a really f-ing cool car that does all sorts of tricks or a butler, it is a secret identity nonetheless. 

For the past year I have been unhappy at my job.  The past few months have been miserable.  Rather than dwell on the job that was making me unhappy, I actively chose to find happiness in other places.  I met the man (who informed me that he loves being "the man", an alter ego of his own perhaps) I started my own little work from home business.  I focused more time on friends and family.  I kept a gratitude journal. I started running.  I became so happy in every other aspect of my life that my job seemed to become a deeper black hole that was gradually sucking the other things that I had worked so hard on into the vortex.  It was a tough decision, but things need to change.  I had changed so much that the job that I had and the people I worked with were no longer enough to contribute to my happiness.  In fact, the happier I became, the more obvious the unhappiness of my coworkers became as well.  As the saying goes, misery loves company, and I sincerely hope that those of my coworkers who are unhappy can find peace and happiness in their own right.  I just know I need to do what is best for me.  I accepted a new position and resigned this morning.

Since this is a blog about happiness and my one woman happiness mission, I am going to choose again to be happy.  I will not dwell on the bad parts of my job, but rather the good things that it has given me.  My time at this job has shown me that I can accomplish whatever I set out to do.  They gave me a place to go for the past seven years, and several friendships that I know will continue after my days at the company are done.  This job has enabled me to purchase my car and my condo (both items on my bucket list).  I have many great memories, and plenty of laughter that I will carry on into my next adventure in life.  I have the confidence to begin this adventure because of lessons that I have learned while working with my current company.  For that I have to say thank you and I wish you all the best.

I left my heart in San Francisco

The vaca with the man is winding down to a close.  We have seen San Francisco in all of it's glory.  We have tasted wines, we have walked what seems like every part of this city, we have taken plenty of pictures (238 to be exact.  I just ordered them on Snapfish, I love this service).  But most of all, we have reinforced our compatibility.

We now know that we can work together as a team to figure out where we are (as we found out when the GPS system decided to not work on the way to Muir woods), we can agree on where to go for dinner, what we want to eat and how we are going to get there (usually.  The man LOVES his walks.  I am a weenie).  In fact, he is looking over my shoulder as I type this right now, and it feels perfectly natural (even if his idea of relaxation involves wearing all of his clothes including jeans while mine does not). It is going to be a little bittersweet tomorrow when we leave what will now be known as our first vacation.  It was a lovely respite filled with plenty of great memories and much to celebrate.

I cannot wait to see what the next adventure brings!

If You're Going To San Francisco

Make sure you have as much fun as the man and I did our first day here.  We have walked the city, and seen great things that are not on tours.  We have taken a bus tour of the places we would have been unable to walk to and we did a tour of Alcatraz at night.

Most importantly, we have done all of this together.  This is shaping up to be one of the most relaxing and wonderful vacations I have ever taken.  We just seem to gel.  After seven a.m. that is when I am finally waking up and he is coming to terms with the fact that he has been reading for two hours while I sleep.

More to come.  Perhaps even a picture or two..

The Show Goes on...

I am one of those people who has a theme song for the day.  Today's is Lupe Fiasco's The Show Goes On.  Have I ever related my undying love for Top 40 Hip Hop before?  If not, I apologize. It is a bit weird for a girl like me.

At any rate, today the show does go on here.  It was a somewhat disappointing day.  Mostly because tomorrow is the big trip with the man, and it is alas, tomorrow.  I didn't get the phone call I wanted all day and when it came in, I missed it. To make matters worse, I have been up since five am.  This just proves that even the happiness warrior has an off day.  But like the song says, even if they turn the lights off the show is going on.  (Thank goodness that didn't happen today as well.)

But I digress.  I have found that this is a good running song.  It is a good go into work motivational song.  It is a good leaving from work unwind song.  There are many aspects, but I think the best part (aside from the hook that just grabs you) is the lyrics.  No matter what you have to keep going. 

So like the song says, This show is going on.

Does Success Bring Happiness?

I have been wondering about this subject a lot lately.  Will I be happier if I make more money, have more power, enjoy more prestige, or even have more friends and keep my condo cleaner?

I am beginning to think that success and happiness are not necessarily linked.  One can be successful and very unhappy, while another can be a complete failure and happy as a clam.  I almost believe that success can breed unhappiness if you let it.  While everyone should be able to enjoy what they define as success I think that happiness is more important to achieve.  Either way, success is a wonderful thing, if you let it be.  You just have to make sure that it does not become consuming.

Hopefully I will be able to better balance both success and happiness.  It is keeping sight of the important things that keep success from consuming me.  It will always be more important to me to spend time with my family and friends than it is to stay late at work and get a few more dollars.  I will always choose people over things.  These are my priorities.  I need to work on refining my definition of success to include these things.

It is going to be a good week!

This week should be pretty great.

I have had some great success as a Candle Chickie lately and get to brag about it at a meeting tomorrow.  I love the feeling of having an idea work out.  I told others about it, and now I get to talk about it tomorrow.  Tuesday is dinner with Lady and then the big trip is the rest of this week.

I do apologize for not being as diligent about posting.  I will be back to normal soon!

Another Great Night

It must have been the shoes.  The cute patent leopard print wedge.  I had a great PartyLite show tonight.  I played Price is Right.

It was awesome.  Sometimes, when things are seeming to not go your way, they turn around and work out.

Tonight was one of those nights.

Now if only I could sleep..

Change is in the air

Fall always brings about change.

I know that there are many changes in store for me soon.  I will be changing my wardrobe over from summer to fall and winter.  The fall and winter shoes will come down.  I have changed the decoration in my home for the season (I love pumpkins.  They contrast nicely with the green).  The weather is getting crisper and the down comforter will be coming out soon as well.

I cannot wait to see what other changes fall will bring.

I also changed up a favorite recipe.  I love taco soup in the slow cooker.  Here is the recipe.

2 cans diced tomatoes
1 small can diced green chiles
1 lb of ground meat (I used bison in this one, it was fantastic)
2 cans pinto beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can corn
1 packet taco seasoning
1 packet ranch dressing mix
1 onion diced

Here are the very difficult instructions:

Put everything in the slow cooker.  Cook on low for 8 hours.

Heaven in a bowl.

We are Family

Tonight I met with the ladies who will be accompanying me to what I affectionately call Aunties Weekend.

The women in my family and I have been going on a long weekend together for a few years.  It started out as a spa weekend but has grown to include more than just a spa.  We have been several places together, Washington D.C, Savannah, Las Vegas, Boston, Providence.  Each city has been a place that we all reconnect and explore.  It is nice to be surrounded by the women that have shaped my life.  I relish every moment with them (even the ones where someone has lost their plane ticket in security, or misplaced their room key).  It is always a good time or a good story right?

This next trip is another foray into Washington D.C.  This time to follow the John Wilkes Booth escape route, which will take us from Washington to Virginia to Maryland.  I will get a few states closer to my goal of visiting all fifty states, not to mention the laughter and memories that this adventure will provide.  It is nice to build a history of our own while seeing historic places.

I am looking forward to this.

Shoes Glorious Shoes Part II

This has been a great weekend.  I did not get the shoes I posted the other day.  I got two other pairs instead.  I am a sucker for a good comfy pair of shoes from Aerosoles.  Two pairs with leopard print on them is pure heaven.

A new development in the shoe shopping yesterday, the man accompanied me.  It was a little awkward at first.  Shoe shopping is an activity that I usually prefer to do alone.  To my surprise, he has been asking me to take him with me for a couple of weeks.  I am not sure what he expected but he said he had fun.  Apparently I am "ruthless" when it comes to my shoes.  I am still not sure if this is a compliment, or if he didn't know what else to say, but I am glad he had a good time.  Later in the evening, we played a game and watched tv on the couch.  I like being with a man who is able to go to a wine fest and play one weekend and sit on the couch in pajama pants the very next.  He, like me, craves balance I think.

Also this weekend, I hosted book club.  This month's selection was "Room" by Emma Donague.  It was a good read and lead to some great discussion.  I love getting together with these women every month, and hopefully there will be more joining us soon.  If anyone has suggestions for books, please feel free to leave them here.  I can't just read all self help and happiness books :)

I am going to sign off.  I have a really big week ahead of me and I want to make sure that I am primed for success.  This means switching off the tv,  reading my books, running drinking all of my water and most importantly, getting enough sleep.  Have a great week dear readers!

Shoes Glorious Shoes

Lately, I have been feeling that all of this happiness progress deserves some kind of reward.  After all, I have spent the last nine months working on improving each aspect of my own happiness.  I have reached goals and I deserve a treat.

Normally, the thought of paying full retail gives me hives. (Well, not really, I am not a stress breaker outer).  I usually wait until a sale and then go to town.  Here is the pair that I am going to treat myself tomorrow:

In the rich plum color of course :)

I am excited

Quality Time

Today, the man informed me that he had read last night's post and was feeling that he should be doing more to show how much I mean to him.  I found this to be confusing.  While I do appreciate the gifts he brings and the cards he gives me, I know he cares about me because he spends quality time with me.  Whether we are at a wine tasting or sitting on the couch with our laptops out, he is showing me how much I mean to him because he is willing to do these things.  He is always helping me to make things easier for me too (need a case of wine carried up to the third floor?  He's game).  So while I feel important, he feels inadequate.  How can this be?  The answer is a pretty easy one.
We have different love languages. (On a side note,  I have finally figured out a reading list.  You will notice the Five Languages of Love is on it. )  My love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service.  This means that the way to my heart is to watch a movie with me while you do my laundry.  This knowledge has helped me immensely.  I am able to determine what it is that I need to feel loved and I am better able to seek it out (or I guess I could vocalize what it is that I need too, but the man is really good at these things, so I don't need to).  The man is also Quality Time, but has a secondary language of Words of Affirmation.  In the end, we really are compatible.

I am happy that we have both figured out our love languages.  Hopefully this will help to build an even better relationship than the one we currently enjoy. So next time the man is feeling that he is not doing a great job letting me know how he feels, I know that I need to tell him how much of a good job he is doing with my laundry.

Housekeeping

Today I was cleaning out some old e-mails and stumbled on one of those forwards that you are supposed to send to 27 people in 35 seconds or else face a lifetime of death and despair.  Obviously, I do not always send these on (unless the words death and despair are listed in the "this will happen to you" part of the please send on pitch).   This one hit a chord with me, which is probably why I kept it for a few years.  I will paste it below.  Just some food to think about.

Read Each One Carefully & Think About It a Second or Two
1. No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry.
2. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
3. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart. 
4. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them
5. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
7. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
9. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
10. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around...
11. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you.
12. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. 
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

I am a Sagittarius

Here is something silly that keeps me happy (well most of the time).  I look up my horoscope just about every day.  Common sense tells me that these cannot really apply to me, but I look anyway.  I look because maybe just maybe one day it will tell me that all of my dreams are coming true, and everything will be a-ok.

The funny thing is, most of my dreams are already coming true.  Everything will be a-ok in the end, and the only person who has control over any of this is me.  It is a very powerful thing to realize that all of the potential in my dreams resides with me.  I am the only one who can do these things. 

But I can look at my horoscope anyway, just to be sure I am on the right path for the day.

The Unexamined Life

Today was a great day.  The man and I went on an architectural river tour of the city, we attended the Windy City Wine Festival and we capped off the evening with a performance of "Long Story Short" by Colin Quinn.  It was a great day.

One aspect of the play that resonated with me was the beginning of Greek Philosophy.  Socrates once said "The unexamined life is not worth living."  I happen to agree.  If one does not take the time to really think about life and examine what it is that makes them tick, then what is the point of living?  If you do not take the time to know yourself, and what it is that makes you happy or sad or just plain tired, how do you function?  It is only when one truly knows themselves that others can even attempt to get to know them. 

Is this the beginning of clinical narcissism?  Probably.  Does everyone you know need to know every detail of your life?  Certainly not.  However, in this day and age, I am starting to think that many people are using sites like Facebook and Twitter to share the mundane details of their every movement, meal and passing thought without really knowing themselves.  Are we really connected if we can't connect with ourselves?  Is this what leads to chronic over sharing?  Or is this just another way to avoid having a conversation with yourself (not necessarily out loud) about what it is that you need, want or hope to accomplish?  Getting to know yourself is kind of scary, but necessary for happiness.  After all, you are the only one you are going to have to be with for the rest of your life.  I believe that relationship is worth examining.

TGIF

Thank goodness it is Friday.

I have new glasses, new contacts, the man is home and we enjoyed dinner at a great Italian place in Norridge.  I have so much to be grateful for that I just don't know where to start.  I have a wonderful family that will listen to me and offer support.  I have a great boyfriend who supports me and loves me for who I am.  I have great friends who are always there for me and will tell it like it is.  I ate the best tomato basil sauce in the greater Chicagoland area.

Most of all, I realize how important these things are to me and how far these people have allowed me to come in my life.  I would not be the person I am today without each and every person who is in my life.  The ones who are great to me, as well as the ones who are not so great.  Every yin has a yang.  I think that the not so great people are in my life right now as a reminder to appreciate the wonderful people who are in my life, and are there for the right reasons.  It might not be karma, but it is close.

Fall is coming.

My favorite season is Fall.  As long as I can remember I have loved the colors of the changing leaves, the cooler temps that allow one to sleep with the windows open and the new fall spreads in the fashion magazines (Nine West has a pair of Mary Janes this season that I will either wear or die trying).  I also kind of miss the back to school season.  I always loved attending school, even when I was a little girl I was excited to go to class on the first day and meet the teachers and new students.

As an adult, sometimes I still feel nostalgic for the back to school feeling of new pencils and fresh notebooks.  I miss the gathering of school supplies and covering of books.  I have to admit, lately I have been considering going back to school to get an MBA.  It is daunting to think about the logistics that would be involved in actually going to school right now, although I know I will end up doing it someday.  That is part of happiness.  Planning for the future, and knowing it is what you want.

You reap what you sow.

Today I was reading about karma.  (I promise someday I will figure out how to do a reading list on here).  The book is The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, but they all boil down to karma, and the concept of you reap what you sow.  Do you want money?  Give some away.  Do you want more love and affection?  Give others love and affection.  The concept is really quite simple.

Perhaps the sheer simplicity of this concept explains why it is so hard to practice.  I have always believed in karma, but I am more of a negative karma type believer.  In my mind, I would rather not perform an action based on the fact that I believe that said action could negatively affect my karma standing. For instance, cutting a car off in traffic will doom me to nothing but red lights and people who don't go the speed limit.  Perhaps it is a remnant of my catholic upbringing. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" was never used to explain something good.  It was always used to explain why we don't hit people or talk ill of them.  A psychologist would say that this is negative reinforcement (one good action will take away one bad one).

So, if karma does exist and you do in fact reap what you sow, and you do want to do unto others as they would do unto you, then perhaps I should take a different approach.  Instead of thinking about what is going to flush my karma down the cosmic toilet, I should focus on actions that will build my karma account with things that I would like more of in my life.  I guess it is time to break out the checkbook and start hugging people.  I will have to see if this can work for me.  Another idea that I got from the book is to wish everyone you meet happiness, joy and laughter (quietly and to yourself so they don't think that you are nuts).  It will bring more happiness, joy and laughter to your life as well.

And as a side note.  I watched more than one hour of tv.  My house is messier than it was yesterday and I am unusually tired.  While only one hour of tv feels draconian, some happy medium is going to have to be reached.  Perhaps this is part of my karma too.

So

Selfish or Self Aware?

One of the questions that keeps coming up is "Am I being selfish by putting my happiness first?"  I think not.  I think that to not focus on being happy is a detriment to yourself.  I will admit, it took a while for me to wrap my head around this as well. I am glad that I did though.  It has made a huge difference.

In the beginning, putting yourself first does feel completely selfish and self indulgent.  It is hard to think about taking a few minutes for yourself when there is a pile of work to be done and there are people who are counting on you to be there for them.  It feels irresponsible to read a magazine when you can take care of the hundreds of e-mails and phone calls that need to be returned.  How are you supposed to stop and take a breath when life demands that you run at 150 miles an hour?  I cannot imagine the added stresses of kids and a husband, or a dog.  A full time job, a condo, a couple of plants and life in general are enough to stress me out.

The strange thing is that once you start focusing on the little bits of happiness you are better able to cope with the stresses of everyday life.  It is kind of like being on the plane when the oxygen mask falls.  You have to put on your mask first before you can help anyone else. It is not because you do not want to help others, or you want to see them suffer.  It is because if you don't put on your mask you will die from the pressure changes and will thus be rendered unable to help anyone else.

I have found that I am a better daughter, bestie, girlfriend, niece, and even sister when I have taken the time to focus on making me happy.  It doesn't take long.  Sometimes it takes a few minutes to read an article or go for a run.  An hour spent reading a book makes me a better listener and keeps me grounded.  Taking a few minutes to tidy the house before I go to bed makes me feel better in the morning and more pleasant.  The man and I have talked about this concept as well.  While we both derive happiness from different sources (some the same) we both recognize that it is important to make sure that we do the small things that make us happy individually. 

So, my challenge to you this evening is to think of one small thing that you consider an indulgence that truly makes you happy and do it, excuses be damned.  You will be better for it.  I promise.

Labor Day

Also known around here as day one with one hour of tv, and no man (he is on a real vacation, not the permanent kind).  I don't think I have been quite so productive in quite a long time.  I have cleaned just about every surface in the condo.  My office no longer looks like  a FEMA disaster area.  My kitchen is spotless.  My laundry is all done.  The glass is all sparkling.  I even cleaned out two drawers today.  I have read three magazines and stickered all of my PartyLite catalogs (ok, I caved and decided that I could turn on the tv if I was working on something like this, but it was only one episode of Criminal minds, and I put away laundry during commercials). 

All of this leads me to wonder how much more I will be able to get done this week.  I have activities planned every night until the man gets home, but I really think that it is the lack of tv that is creating all of this energy and free time.  Tomorrow, I am going to try running in the morning before work.  Hopefully that will keep me pumped up for the duration of the day, and leave more reading time tomorrow evening. 

Good night dear readers, I should sleep better tonight without all of the electromagnetic waves from the tv disturbing my chi.

Music Theory

Anyone who knows me also knows of my somewhat schizophrenic music taste.  I enjoy all sorts of music, with very few exceptions.  The other day I had my Zune on shuffle (it is another thing that the man and I share, we are both Zunes in a I Pod world, but I digress) and it played Prince, Parliment and then Bach followed by Rilo Kiley.  That is a typical music day in my world.

Music of all kinds makes me feel happy.  There is music for every mood and just about every occasion.  In summertime, I love listening to Dave Matthews Band and Bob Marley.  For some reason I associate those artists with sunshine.  When I am wanting to chill out, a little Ray LaMontange or Fleetwood Mac have been doing the trick lately. 

I also love learning about new artists (well to me at least).  I have discovered David Bowie and Fleetwood Mac lately.  I feel the need to spend more time with seventies artists.  I have been told to check out Crosby Stills Nash and Young, the Carpenters and Stevie Wonder.

Who should be my new artist?

Home Alone Part 1

So here I am.  Home alone.  Blissfully alone.

The man is on vacation for the next week, and I have left a cook out with some of the college buddies early so I can come home and be totally alone.  I have been extra careful to schedule bare minimum activities this weekend so I can have my extra alone time.

I am one of those people who don't only crave alone time, I need it to survive.  Lately, I have been so busy (and happily so) that I haven't had a really good alone time kind of weekend.  I plan on taking full advantage in the next couple of days.  I find it helps me to decompress, and reconnect with myself.  Cherry cobbler for dinner?  Great!  Read a book on meditation?  Done.  Sleep until 10am?  Of course.  Run at noon, certainly.  There is no one here to judge, and there is no one to be on a wavelength with (not that I mind, but sometimes I need to do my own thing). 

I also find that having some alone time helps me to work out a few things in my head.  I decided today what my next financial step is going to be (more money in the peace of mind account).  I have my next goals set and I have plans to accomplish them.  I don't know why, but I do better when I have the time alone to contemplate these things.

What do you do when you are alone?

Girls Night

Tonight, I got a whole new vocabulary.  Yes, I have now watched an episode of Jersey Shore in its entirety.  While I do feel that I have lost important IQ points, I do see where these can be funny.  My first thought is where do they find these people?  The next thought is how much liquor do they feed them?

I will admit,  I had some wild and crazy times in my younger days, but nothing like this.  And I do believe that my liver thanks me for it.  Not to mention my dignity and my mother, but then again, I do not get paid what these kids do.  Oh well, there is always a trade off.

So, tonight I am going to sign off by saying tomorrow, everybody GTL and then have some tee shirt time!

Television is E.V.I.L.

This week, I have been making more of an effort to work on my optimal happiness.  I have been making an effort to drink all of my water.  I went for a run today.  I have kept things clean (after the big cleanup this weekend). I have been reading during lunch and before bed, where I have been sleeping for at least seven and a half hours.  My obstacle is the tv.

I plop on the couch with every intention of only watching the news.  Then the news turns into the show after the news, and then before you know it, it is time for the news again.  I am thinking that it might be time to limit the tv time to one hour a day.  Harsh, yes, but an addict has got to wean themselves off of their drug. The new rule will be appointment tv only starting Sunday (after True Blood of course).  One half hour of news a day.  No more playing around (well, more of that probably, since the boob tube will no longer be the main source of entertainment).

In an item related to tv, the man and I have a slight disagreement regarding the device.  I subscribe to the theory that one sleeps better when there is no television in the bedroom to distract and keep awake with those pesky electromagnetic waves.  He feels that a tv, with a DVD player, is essential in the bedroom so one can watch the news (as a side note, if you could not already tell, I love the news, he knows this is his only possible valid argument he can use to get a tv in my bedroom) from the comfort of their own bed and promptly turn the tv off after the nightly news viewing.  Here is what I know.  I sleep better without a tv in my bedroom.  In fact, no electronics are allowed in my room.  The phone is banished to the living area. I feel that I sleep better because of it.  Not to mention there is no attractive way to keep a television in the bedroom.  Perhaps some type of James Bond device where the tv stays hidden in a dresser until a button is pushed and then it appears. 

Oh well.  I will take my own television challenge next week and I will certainly keep you posted on the progress!

Update

There are a few updates that I would like to clear up.  First, my progress is working quite well.  I have managed to hydrate and read both days.  The exercise is on track and my house is still quite clean from this weekend. Plus I have gotten enough sleep both nights this week so far.

I also thought that it is time to think of more things I am grateful for.  I am grateful for my friends and family.  All of them.  I am grateful that I have a job.  I am grateful for my health.  I am grateful for everything I have been blessed with.

I am feeling better today and I know that tomorrow will be even better!

This is a new week.

To follow up on my previous post I am going to work harder this week on meeting my conditions for optimal happiness.  I am putting them in writing and out there so I won't have an excuse. :)

1) I will get at least 7.5 hours of sleep a day.  No excuses.

2) I will run Wednesday, Friday and Sunday of the upcoming week.  I will stick to the current interval program.

3) I will make sure to drink all of my fluids every day

4) I will keep the house tidy and clean.

5) I will make sure to read for at least one hour a day.

I will let you know how the plan goes.  In an effort to be a more organized person, I have my lunches for the week cooking on my new stove now.

Have a great week!

Never Get Old

Tonight, my hostess's 88 year old mother and I were talking.  She told me to try to never get old.  She was an amazing woman who has been married for over 65 years, and is still going.  She loves her husband and her family and is the most delightful woman.

Her words resonated with me.  They remind me of what my own grandmother says.  Old is a state of mind.  In her seventies, my grandma refuses to be an old lady.  Is age really just a state of mind?  That would certainly explain marathon runners in their seventies, but what about people who can barely get off of their couch in their twenties?  Are you old when you decide you are old?  I think this might be the answer.

At any rate, I think that they key to not being old is to not worry so much about age, and start living life.  Every moment is precious, and not to be squandered.

Prep for Greatness

One of the few tips that I have found helpful in all of the happiness research that I have done is to be prepared.  While I am working on being one of those people who pack their lunches the night before (like the man does) I do believe that planning ahead makes a huge difference.

For instance, I have a PartyLite show tomorrow.  By taking the time to pack everything now, I will have more time tomorrow in the morning to pack my lunch and make the last minute preparations.  All I will have to do tomorrow after work is dash in, grab the already packed stuff and be on my way.  It makes the show less stressful and the whole experience less tedious.  I will even lay out my clothes before I go to bed.

I have found that preparing even one little thing the evening before makes things go smoother in the morning.  I am not a morning person, so these few precious moments in the morning mean a lot to me.

How do you prepare for greatness?

Conditions for Optimal Happines

I have to admit.  I have not been as happy this week as I could be.  I realize that there are some areas that I am neglecting.  Here is what I have discovered leads to my optimal happiness.

1) Rest.  Everyone is a little different.  I need seven and a half to eight hours of sleep a night to feel well rested.  It seems like a lot to some, but it is what my body is programmed for.  I am not one of those people who wake up at a certain time every day without an alarm clock.  I prefer to think of my sleep needs like a timer.  When it is done it is done. The past few weeks have been stretching it to the brink.

2) Exercise.  Ideally I have the time and energy for three or more runs a week.  They don't have to be long runs, just some running.  This past week I have not had the time to squeeze in the correct number of runs.  I am feeling the effects.

3) Reading.  I usually read for at least one hour a day on my lunch break.  Since I have only been taking a half hour lunch, this has been thrown off.  Not only does reading help me escape a little bit, I like the feeling of accomplishment of finishing a book.  I have stacks of them that need to be read, but lately, finding the time has been difficult.

4) Hydration.  I notice that I feel better when I drink 48 ounces of water a day.  I have no idea if this is a legitimate thing, or if lack of water can lead one to be unhappy (well, more than the general displeasure of dehydration).  I just know that I feel better when I drink all of my water. 

5) Clean.  My home is far from perfect, but I feel less stress when things are in proper order, and generally clean.  It helps with item location, and an overall feeling of security for me.  I don't have to worry if someone pops by, most of my home is in order.  While I by no means need to be signed up for hoarders, or some other horrific show, my house could be a little less chaotic.  Right now I have a stove in the middle of my kitchen (long story) and an office that looks like a PartyLite bomb went off in it.  While both of these things are part of operation happiness (the stove is awesome, I just need to do a little counter surgery, and the PartyLite stuff is so cute!) they feel like clutter. 

Here is the bright spot in the clouds.  All of these items can be worked on.  I can come home after work and take a thirty minute nap.  I can make more of an effort to read and drink water instead of watch tv.  I can clean things up a little bit at a time and I can certainly make more time to exercise.  I just need to make them more of a priority.

What are the things that you need for optimal happiness?

Gratitude Part II

Today, I seem to be bombarded by the idea of losing my senses.  I heard about a woman who suddenly was not able to see today.  I also just saw a commercial about a man who lost his sense of taste and smell.  I cannot imagine what it would be like to live without these senses.

So I am going to be grateful for them.  I am grateful that I can see all of the lovely things that this world has to offer.  I am thankful that I can hear all of the beautiful sounds in the world.  I can smell the late summer flowers and taste the humidity in the air.  I can touch another person and feel their warmth.

Can you imagine what it is like without your senses?  I cannot even bring myself to try.

So today, let's all be grateful for what we have.

Home

I am one of those people who loves traveling, and I actually don't mind staying in hotels (most of the time.  Sometimes the beds are a little too soft for my liking, but alas, I digress).  I like the new surroundings and usually the shower that never ever runs out of hot water.  But I always get excited to return home.

I love my home.  It is my sanctuary and my own little corner of the world to do whatever I like in.  I cannot wait to get back here after each adventure, or day in the office, and just be.  I love the freedom that having my own home gives me.  I can paint whatever I want whatever color I want.  I can add or subtract accessories and furniture at will.  Is my home perfect? No.  But then again neither am I.   My home is the perfect place for me though, and I wouldn't have it any other way. 


Here is your PartyLite look of the week.  It is really more of a display idea that I am toying with.

1 Villa Bianca Scent Warmer
1 Pumpkin pillar holder (I Love weird pumpkins for fall!)
1 Modern Rustic taper holder set
1 Apricot and fig pillar garden
1 dozen apricot and fig tealights

Who Doesn't Love Betty White?

I must take this opportunity to admit that I have a girl crush on Betty White.  I love the woman.  She is hilarious, has had a wonderful career spanning the entire length of television, has made several movies and loves animals.  This past week, in a survey, she was voted the most trusted celebrity.  Again, who doesn't love Betty White\?

I have loved Betty for a while now, and I am lucky enough to have various people who support my addiction.  My mom got me a Betty White calendar, which incidentally is a treasure trove of Betty White trivia.  The man got me Betty White's book "If you ask me, and you probably won't".  I was excited to discover the Hallmark channel runs the Golden Girls late at night, when I really need a Betty fix.  I will watch Lake Placid, The Proposal and Bringing Down the House to see her. Old episodes of Boston Legal?  Check.  I even watched her guest spot on The Middle. I love Betty White.

Here are the top five things that I have learned from Betty:

1) Don't be afraid to try something new.  She has played a variety of characters and has done a variety of formats.  She was one of the first women on television (she had a variety show of some kind), and she is still doing it (on Hot in Cleveland).  I even learned (from my handy dandy calendar) that she switched roles with Rue Maclanahan because the character of Blanche was too much like the character she had played on the Mary Tyler Moore Show.  She stepped out of the box when she did Saturday Night Live, and she has never been funnier.

2) You can't plan everything, so do the best you can.  Betty tells a charming story in her book about when she had go onstage at an awards show to accept an award.  She hadn't expected to win, and had not prepared a speech.  She got up there, winged it, and got a shout out from George Clooney afterwards (See!  EVERYONE loves George Clooney too). 

3) Be kind to animals.  Betty has spent her entire life devoted to her pets.  She loves all animals and makes every effort to speak for those who can't speak for themselves.  While many may say that animals are not that important to them, Betty is passionate about animals and will go out of her way to help out where she can.

4) Find the love of your life.  Betty White had known Allen Luden for years before she married him.  He was the love of her life, and even though it took a year of marriage proposals before she married him, she never regretted it.  Her book and calendar are filled with happy images of the two of them.  My favorite picture in the calendar is their wedding picture.  They got married in Vegas, just them, no fuss.  While Allen has passed on, Betty has never stopped loving him.  She also wrote in her book that every so often a reporter on a red carpet will yell "Mrs. Luden" as this never fails to get her attention.  They had a wonderful life together and she cherished every moment of it.

5) Keep on keeping on.  It takes stamina and a lot of evolution to stay in show business as long as Betty White has.  While she has not always had huge parts in shows or movies, she has consistently worked for over 50 years.  At 89, the woman seems to have more energy than I ever will, and she keeps on going.  Her career has been an inspiration for many.

I will say it again.  Who doesn't love Betty White?

Hard work, or Hardly working

Many people, including myself, think that happiness is something that occurs organically and without much effort.  You know the people who always seem happy no matter what is going on with their lives, and how good or bad their hair looks.  It is like they were born happy and will die happy and they will never know unhappiness.  I am here to tell you it is a farce.  Happiness takes work.

I struggle most with trying to maintain a positive attitude in most situations.  Where there are lemons, I have to make a concerted effort to see the possibility of lemonade.  I don't automatically see the silver lining in the dark clouds, I have to deliberately shift my focus.  I have noticed that over the past eight months, this process has become easier to me.  When something happens, whether it be a bad date, or a missed phone call, I can see that these things sometimes happen and that the potential opportunities were not right for me.  I know that this only means that something better is out there and that the perfect opportunity has not yet arrived.  This is not always easy.  Sometimes I still feel disappointed, but it passes quickly, and I can focus on the next great thing.

Tonight for girls night, I made Thai Chicken Stir Fry (see previous posts) except I ran out of chicken.  I did have shrimp in stock, and it made a delightful substitute. I think that it will be Thai Shrimp Stir fry from now on.

All you need is Love

I really believe that the Beatles were on to something with that one.  Everyone has love in their lives.  It is always there, you just have to know where to look for it.  For some, love lies in their spouse and children, others have great friends and pets.  I am lucky enough to wake up every day surrounded by love.  I have great friends, and a wonderfully supportive family.  I have an amazing boyfriend and plants that are very happy when I remember to water them. What more could a girl need?  There is one more component.

The most important love of all is the love that one has for themselves.  Unconditional love for oneself will only breed more love.  Cheesy?  Certainly.  Effective?  Definitely.  If you can't love yourself, how in the world can you expect anyone else to be able to?  Furthermore, you have to love yourself in order to know what kind of love you need.  So next time you are singing "Can anybody find me somebody to love" with Freddy Mercury and Co in the car (don't lie, you do it too), remember, you can always find somebody to love.  Yourself.

So tonight, I want you to think about this.  Who loves you baby?

Simple Things

Why is it the simplest things can sometimes bring the greatest pleasure?  Sheets fresh out of the dryer, a great glass of wine, two dollar used books, an offer of help, or a hot bath are some of my simplest pleasures.  None of these things are terribly expensive, unique or hard to come by, however each makes me feel great.  Sheets fresh out of the dryer are a warm treat, a great glass of two buck chuck is a luxury, two dollar used books make me feel like a million bucks, an offer of help is an offer of love, and a hot bath is a great indulgence.

Everyone has their own special treats, and it never ceases to amaze me the diversity of each person's simple pleasures. While my used book obsession does not make the man especially happy, he loves cookbooks.  Hot baths are not every one's forte, but I bought my condo based on the fact that it has a tub with jets.  One of the besties loves getting pedicures, and the other cannot imagine the world without Grey's Anatomy.  My mom derives great pleasure out of quilting, my father cooking.  None of these are complicated hobbies requiring lots of training or specialized equipment, (although the specialized equipment can be a bonus) however all of these things leave people feeling the same way.

What are your simplest pleasures?

Gratitude

On this journey, I have learned that one of the most valuable tools in the happiness arsenal is gratitude. If you can be grateful for what you have, you can be happy in just about every situation. It doesn't take much to be grateful for something. Sometimes, I have been grateful for silly things like a sunny day or a phone call or a piece of mail that is not a bill. The point is to find at least one thing that you can be grateful for.

Gratitude journals seem to be a recurring theme in almost all of the books that I have read this year. Everyone seems to agree that gratitude journals are necessary, but no one seems to agree on the frequency of which to actually journal what you are grateful for. Some authors have maintained that this needs to be done everyday, others say up to once a week. I have tried both methods, and frankly feel better going every other day or so. Otherwise I see the same three things show up. My most frequent things to be grateful for are 1) having a job right now 2) My friends and family who love me 3) waking up every morning happy.

What are you grateful for?

Laughter does cure all

I have discovered over the past eight months that laughter really is the best medicine. It is easier now to laugh at things than it was at the beginning of this journey. At the end of the day, there can be humor found in just about any situation, you just have to know where to look. I am lucky enough to be surrounded by people who not only love me, but who are usually able to make me collapse into peals of laughter. Today the man and I were laughing about my aversion to decorative pillows on beds and my distaste for Eric Clapton's book "Clapton". I know that I will be laughing more this week, and I hope all of you do too.

For those followers who have been having trouble posting comments, I think I may have fixed it. Please let me know if you continue to have trouble.

As promised, here is my PartyLite look of the week:

1 Reflective Tealight Cylinders
1 Nature's Light Silver Birch and Fig Wooden Wick candle
1 Mirrored Tray

Picture below:

The Couple that watches together...

Here is a slightly embarrassing admission.  I love the Marriage Ref.  You know that show where couples go on TV and explain their main issue to a panel of 3 celebrity judges, who then decide who is right.  I find it amusing and somehow it makes me grateful for what I have.  Not to mention, they added a new dimension this season, by which the person who is judged to be the most right receives $25,000.00 and a billboard that says "I was right".

I have managed to find the one other person in the state who also enjoys this show.  It is quite nice, and there is no judgement. While it is possible that the man and I could possibly end up on this show someday (over a silly pillow/shoe issue no doubt) for now, we can enjoy watching it together. 

What is it that you do with your significant other that makes you happy?

Book Club!!!

I belong to a book club that meets usually once a month.  Reading is one of my passions.  In fact, reading 100 books in a year is on my Bucket List (cleary, this will have to be accomplished when I am either a full time candle chickie or retired).  This year, I want to read 50.  I am currently sitting at 29, with two started.  But I digress.

Each person in our book club gets to choose a book or two that the group will read throughout the year.  I tend to pick memoirs and non fiction.  The other girls, fiction (which can be ok).  While I have not loved every book that I have read in the two plus years the club has been meeting (ask me about Loving Frank if you are brave enough), I can honestly say that I would have never picked to read many of these books on my own.  This has been a great way for me to expand my reading horizons and get to appreciate some new authors and new genres.  I have also been able to make new friends and get my Panera bread bowl fix once a month.  It is a winning situation all around.

Since this blog is all about happiness and positivity, here are my top five reads from book club.

1) The Help
2) The Book Thief
3) Angela's Ashes
4) The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime
5) The Five Languages of Love

I have the bestest bestie in the world

I will not lie.  She bought the title with a pint of Clusterfluff ice cream.  It is the newest ice cream obsession.

Girls night was back to normal tonight.  We were at full attendance, and true to form laughed until we cried.  Mostly because of the dramatic re-enactment of a certain incident involving a lawn chair and a mini van, but funny just the same. 

One of the besties is a chemist, and works in a lab.  The non-chemist bestie and I have been lobbying for years now to have a take your besties to work day.  We figure that it will be good for her to have her in house entertainment, and we might be able to learn something (on an interesting side note, I have already learned that one should not play scrabble with the chemist bestie.  She knows how to use the letter "x").  We got to visit her college lab once, where we had to turn in our lighters, promise to stay behind the yellow line, and not touch anything.  We are certainly more mature now, and have a greater appreciation for chemicals and the equipment.  One day the chemist will be overridden by the fun person in her and we will be allowed to celebrate take your besties to work day.  Let's just hope it is on a Monday.

Here is what I made for dinner tonight.  It took five minutes:

Black bean tacos

1 can black beans rinsed and drained
1 tomato diced
1/2 cucumber shredded
1 bunch red leaf lettuce
Sour cream
tortillas

simply heat the black beans for five minutes in the microwave and construct the tacos.  The cucumber was a cool and refreshing compliment to the beans.

Enjoy!

The Strangest Things Make Me Laugh

I find the weirdest things to be funny.  For instance, on the way home from dinner with the man and his mom, I heard "Dust in the Wind" on the radio (which is a rare treat.)  To the normal person, this might not seem funny.  It is a song about how we are all going to die sometime.  Every time I hear it, I flash to Will Farrell in Old School singing at Blue's funeral.  It never fails to make me giggle.  I know this happens to others too.  Some of you have told me about it.

Everyone has things that are funny to them, and let's face it, laughing is a big part of happiness.  Sometimes it is in the form of inside jokes with people (such as "coleslaw" for college friends, and hefty bags with the besties).  Other times it can be an old joke such as Wanilla ice cream or a misunderstanding like the pope being catholic or George Michael coming out in the nineties.  Whatever it is, make sure it causes peals of laughter.  They say it is the best medicine for a reason.

Tuesdays with Lady

Since I have come home from college, I have been getting together with my mom on Tuesday nights.  At first, we would meet her friends Carol and Jenny for dinner.  Carol passed away a couple of years ago, and we have been meeting at my house since.  I cook dinner, she brings her sense of humor and wisdom.

I cherish this time with my mom.  I realize that I am lucky enough to have her in my life, and I am able to count her as one of my best friends. She always knows what to say or what advice to give, even if it is a "where are your balls" speech.  Her advice is so legendary, that many of my friends seek her out for opinions on anything from relationships to curtains (she has a weird obsession with the curtains).  While my mom is not known for her mad cooking skills or trademark cookie recipe she can easily roll up in her red Hummer and save the day with nothing more than the contents of her purse and a hug.  I can only hope that someday I can be that kind of mom to everyone I know too.

Tonight, my mom and I were discussing happiness.  Everyone has their levels of happy.  I seem to be riding a peak right now, and it shows.  As long as I have known her, my mom has always been happy.  She rarely second guesses herself, and has a tenacity that I have never seen.  She always gets what she wants.  I admire that, and hope I can live up to her example.

Here is what I made for dinner tonight: (since the man is allergic to seafood, I tend to indulge when he is not around)

1 bunch of spinach
1 pint cherry tomatoes
2 cups broccoli
1 cup shrimp
basil infused oil (or any oil that you want)
fresh garlic (powder just does not work on this)
pasta of your choice
Parmesan cheese

I steamed the veggies and shrimp for a while and served over pasta with a bit of basil infused canola oil and fresh minced garlic on top. Sprinkle the Parmesan on top.  Light and yummy summer food.

Power Partners

This is a concept that was used in my last selling seminar.  I have a PartyLite Power partner (who is amazing).  I realize that I also have other Power Partners in life.  These are the people who are there for you no matter what.  They support and love you unconditionally and together, life is better.  Now, many of you may be thinking that I mean The Man.  While he does have his place as a power partner, I have many others.  These people have helped to shape my life, and my journey.  They are also willing to deal with the changes that come with individual growth.  They celebrate the victories and hold hands during the defeats. They are the ones who will meet you for a drink after a rough day, or come over to eat dinner and laugh after a great one.  They will help you find a new job, old boyfriend, or the perfect dress.  If you are smiling and nodding, you are lucky enough to have found a power partner or two.  If not, don't worry, you will find one.

So today, I am going to pose this.  Who are your power partners?

Relaxation 101

I must admit, happiness does take some work.  Sometimes a girl just needs to kick back and relax.  My own personal weekend of relaxation started Friday Night with a concert at Ravinia (don't know what I am talking about?  Read "A Classical Evening").  Saturday was spent at a friend's lake house boating and the like with a quiet night in a B & B.  The weekend was perfection.

Also fun was coming home to find a whole new bunch of Party Lite products to play with.  WARNING: SHAMELESS PLUG.  I must say I love the sculpted leaf tray like a fat kid loves cake.  The possibilities with this thing are endless!  As a personal challenge (because it really does make me happy) I will post one new look each week with the various PartyLite items that I am loving. 

This arrangement has the following:

1 sculpted leaf pillar garden tray
1 Modern Rustic Pilar tray
1 Silver Birch and Fig Nature's Light wooden wick candle (I cannot wait to light this thing)
1 Amber Wood and Vanilla Wood Sculpted Pillar Garden

Decorating makes me happy too : )

If it makes you happy...

I have learned a lot about happiness this year.  One of the most fascinating concepts for me is that while everyone can be happy, the same things do not make everyone happy.  Some of the things that make me happy are shoes, candles and reading.  While these things bring me great pleasure and contentment, not everyone shares these ideals.   For instance, one bestie would rather light herself on fire than read a book, while the other one derives more happiness from her purse collection than her shoes.  The man would rather have a nice glass of wine in his garden with a good book and a Jimmy Buffet CD, and my mother would rather spend the day in a movie theater.  Different strokes for different folks truly does apply.

Another concept that I have learned this year is that it is ok for some things that make many people happy to not make me happy.  I will never understand the allure of Justin Beiber. I am not going to ever enjoy crab cakes or The Family Guy.  It has taken a while to understand that this is ok.  For some reason, it is easier for me to grasp the concept that not everyone is going to be made happy by the things that make me happy than it is to understand that it is ok to not be happy with things that almost everyone likes.  It is like a new kind of peer pressure. 

Since I have a few followers, I am going to pose a question.  What makes you happy even if it doesn't make everyone else happy?

A Classical Evening

Tonight the man and I went to Ravinia.  We saw (well, more like heard) the musical styling of Yo Yo Ma.  In a word, amazing.  We got to sit under the clouds (there were no stars tonight) and just enjoy life for a little while. 

We worked together to pack a picnic dinner with a few salads and some cream puff.  It was relaxing and a perfect way to end a strenuous week.  I have to say it was nice to be in the kitchen working with a partner. Even grocery shopping with a partner is more fun and less stressful.  I must admit we do have different grocery shopping philosophies.  I am a mission grocery shopper, constantly trying to beat my previous time.  The man can get lost in the cheese section.  It is an interesting dynamic.  We do work well together though.  Plus I got to try goat cheese.

Here is the best recipe that we had tonight:

Melon Cucumber and Tomato Salad

1 cup cubed cucumber
salt to taste
2 cups cubed cantaloupe
2 roma tomatoes
handful of sliced mint leaves

Dressing:
1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
minced shallot
1/2 tsp Dijon mustard
1/2 tsp garlic powder (but the man added a little more)
Pepper to taste

Mix dressing and put aside. Mix the other ingredients.  Dump dressing on top.  It is that simple.  And it was good.

Girl's Night

For the past 15 years or so, my two girlfriends from high school and I have been getting together on Thursday nights.  It started out as a tv night (with NBC's must see TV) and evolved through the years.  Some years we went to a dance club, some years ordered take out at various houses, and now, we generally just get together to drink some wine, have some dinner and laugh.  We laugh a lot.  Usually there are tears of laughter.  It is impossible to contain.

Tonight was no different.  Except one of the girls couldn't make it.  We met up at a restaurant, and just talked and laughed.  We can find anything humorous... the man's distrust of products that come from a certain chain of discount grocery stores, unfriendly co-workers and decorating disasters were on the list of topics today.

I look forward to Thursdays.  Some people go to therapy.  I am fortunate enough to have therapy come to me.

Candle Chickie

So in addition to being a Happiness Warrior, I also moonlight as a Candle Chickie (for PartyLite).  Someday, when I have followers, this information will be useful to a few of you : )

Tonight I had to go to a regional meeting where a bunch of other candle chickies and I get together and discuss selling and burning candles. I love these women.  They are supportive and helpful and they make me laugh.  I come away from these meetings motivated, and energetic.

One of the happiness suggestions that I got this year was to start sending out "proofs of love".  I tend to send those little cards that you receive in the mail from random charities (Arbor Day Foundation, I am looking at you!) to people as a reminder of how important they are to me.  I have decided to take this one step further.  From now on, I will reward happy people I come across with a free tealight candle (with my contact information on it of course).  Hopefully this will help me to do my part to increase the happiness of all around me.  At the very least it is positive reinforcement for being happy. 

Domestic Bliss

I can try it for a night.  Right I am sitting on the couch with the man.  We just ate dinner (that I cooked) and are now enjoying some wine.  We have a Gabriel Iglesias special on the tv.  Both of us are sitting on the couch with our laptops out.  I never thought that an evening like this could bring me this much happiness and contentment.  It is nice to have someone who a) wants to spend an evening like this, and b) enjoys the same things I do.

We are planning a trip to the San Francisco (thus both laptops). Seeing new places is also part of Operation Happiness.   I actually have a bucket list and enjoy accomplishing things I have put on it.  Truth be told, I am excited to see Alcatraz.

Here is the recipe I used for dinner tonight:

Thai Chicken Stir Fry

Ingredients:
2 chicken breasts, cubed
1 1/2 cups of fresh green beans
olive oil
2 garlic cloves
2 scallions chopped
1/2 tsp Garlic chili paste
2 tbsp soy sauce (you can use 1 Tbsp of fish sauce if there are no allergy issues)
1 tsp sugar
Basil (fresh or dried)

Heat oil in a wok or large skillet.  Add the chicken and cook for three to five minutes.  Add garlic and scallions until fragrant.  Add chili paste, soy sauce, sugar  and green beans.  Cook for five more minutes, until chicken is cooked through.  Add basil.  Serve over rice.

Every Day is a New Day

So I have finally started a blog.  I have been thinking about it for a while, and now I am going to give it a go. 

Operation Happiness started out as a goal for the year.  Who needs to make happiness a goal you ask?  It is this girl.  I started the year determined to make this THE YEAR.  I was going to be happy if it killed me.  But, I didn't know where to start.  So I read books.  Lots of them.  I took self assessment tests (which incidently, do not lead me to happiness, but this is another post entirely), and signed up for all sorts of stuff.  It has been an exciting eight months, and I am going to share it.

What makes me happy?  It changes daily.  Like the weather in Chicago.  Today, the three things that make me happy are:

1) My red high heeled platform shoes.  I love them even if they hurt me.
2) A good run.
3) Clusterfluff ice cream.