Today, the man informed me that he had read last night's post and was feeling that he should be doing more to show how much I mean to him. I found this to be confusing. While I do appreciate the gifts he brings and the cards he gives me, I know he cares about me because he spends quality time with me. Whether we are at a wine tasting or sitting on the couch with our laptops out, he is showing me how much I mean to him because he is willing to do these things. He is always helping me to make things easier for me too (need a case of wine carried up to the third floor? He's game). So while I feel important, he feels inadequate. How can this be? The answer is a pretty easy one.
We have different love languages. (On a side note, I have finally figured out a reading list. You will notice the Five Languages of Love is on it. ) My love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service. This means that the way to my heart is to watch a movie with me while you do my laundry. This knowledge has helped me immensely. I am able to determine what it is that I need to feel loved and I am better able to seek it out (or I guess I could vocalize what it is that I need too, but the man is really good at these things, so I don't need to). The man is also Quality Time, but has a secondary language of Words of Affirmation. In the end, we really are compatible.
I am happy that we have both figured out our love languages. Hopefully this will help to build an even better relationship than the one we currently enjoy. So next time the man is feeling that he is not doing a great job letting me know how he feels, I know that I need to tell him how much of a good job he is doing with my laundry.
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