If You're Going To San Francisco

Make sure you have as much fun as the man and I did our first day here.  We have walked the city, and seen great things that are not on tours.  We have taken a bus tour of the places we would have been unable to walk to and we did a tour of Alcatraz at night.

Most importantly, we have done all of this together.  This is shaping up to be one of the most relaxing and wonderful vacations I have ever taken.  We just seem to gel.  After seven a.m. that is when I am finally waking up and he is coming to terms with the fact that he has been reading for two hours while I sleep.

More to come.  Perhaps even a picture or two..

The Show Goes on...

I am one of those people who has a theme song for the day.  Today's is Lupe Fiasco's The Show Goes On.  Have I ever related my undying love for Top 40 Hip Hop before?  If not, I apologize. It is a bit weird for a girl like me.

At any rate, today the show does go on here.  It was a somewhat disappointing day.  Mostly because tomorrow is the big trip with the man, and it is alas, tomorrow.  I didn't get the phone call I wanted all day and when it came in, I missed it. To make matters worse, I have been up since five am.  This just proves that even the happiness warrior has an off day.  But like the song says, even if they turn the lights off the show is going on.  (Thank goodness that didn't happen today as well.)

But I digress.  I have found that this is a good running song.  It is a good go into work motivational song.  It is a good leaving from work unwind song.  There are many aspects, but I think the best part (aside from the hook that just grabs you) is the lyrics.  No matter what you have to keep going. 

So like the song says, This show is going on.

Does Success Bring Happiness?

I have been wondering about this subject a lot lately.  Will I be happier if I make more money, have more power, enjoy more prestige, or even have more friends and keep my condo cleaner?

I am beginning to think that success and happiness are not necessarily linked.  One can be successful and very unhappy, while another can be a complete failure and happy as a clam.  I almost believe that success can breed unhappiness if you let it.  While everyone should be able to enjoy what they define as success I think that happiness is more important to achieve.  Either way, success is a wonderful thing, if you let it be.  You just have to make sure that it does not become consuming.

Hopefully I will be able to better balance both success and happiness.  It is keeping sight of the important things that keep success from consuming me.  It will always be more important to me to spend time with my family and friends than it is to stay late at work and get a few more dollars.  I will always choose people over things.  These are my priorities.  I need to work on refining my definition of success to include these things.

It is going to be a good week!

This week should be pretty great.

I have had some great success as a Candle Chickie lately and get to brag about it at a meeting tomorrow.  I love the feeling of having an idea work out.  I told others about it, and now I get to talk about it tomorrow.  Tuesday is dinner with Lady and then the big trip is the rest of this week.

I do apologize for not being as diligent about posting.  I will be back to normal soon!

Another Great Night

It must have been the shoes.  The cute patent leopard print wedge.  I had a great PartyLite show tonight.  I played Price is Right.

It was awesome.  Sometimes, when things are seeming to not go your way, they turn around and work out.

Tonight was one of those nights.

Now if only I could sleep..

Change is in the air

Fall always brings about change.

I know that there are many changes in store for me soon.  I will be changing my wardrobe over from summer to fall and winter.  The fall and winter shoes will come down.  I have changed the decoration in my home for the season (I love pumpkins.  They contrast nicely with the green).  The weather is getting crisper and the down comforter will be coming out soon as well.

I cannot wait to see what other changes fall will bring.

I also changed up a favorite recipe.  I love taco soup in the slow cooker.  Here is the recipe.

2 cans diced tomatoes
1 small can diced green chiles
1 lb of ground meat (I used bison in this one, it was fantastic)
2 cans pinto beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can corn
1 packet taco seasoning
1 packet ranch dressing mix
1 onion diced

Here are the very difficult instructions:

Put everything in the slow cooker.  Cook on low for 8 hours.

Heaven in a bowl.

We are Family

Tonight I met with the ladies who will be accompanying me to what I affectionately call Aunties Weekend.

The women in my family and I have been going on a long weekend together for a few years.  It started out as a spa weekend but has grown to include more than just a spa.  We have been several places together, Washington D.C, Savannah, Las Vegas, Boston, Providence.  Each city has been a place that we all reconnect and explore.  It is nice to be surrounded by the women that have shaped my life.  I relish every moment with them (even the ones where someone has lost their plane ticket in security, or misplaced their room key).  It is always a good time or a good story right?

This next trip is another foray into Washington D.C.  This time to follow the John Wilkes Booth escape route, which will take us from Washington to Virginia to Maryland.  I will get a few states closer to my goal of visiting all fifty states, not to mention the laughter and memories that this adventure will provide.  It is nice to build a history of our own while seeing historic places.

I am looking forward to this.

Shoes Glorious Shoes Part II

This has been a great weekend.  I did not get the shoes I posted the other day.  I got two other pairs instead.  I am a sucker for a good comfy pair of shoes from Aerosoles.  Two pairs with leopard print on them is pure heaven.

A new development in the shoe shopping yesterday, the man accompanied me.  It was a little awkward at first.  Shoe shopping is an activity that I usually prefer to do alone.  To my surprise, he has been asking me to take him with me for a couple of weeks.  I am not sure what he expected but he said he had fun.  Apparently I am "ruthless" when it comes to my shoes.  I am still not sure if this is a compliment, or if he didn't know what else to say, but I am glad he had a good time.  Later in the evening, we played a game and watched tv on the couch.  I like being with a man who is able to go to a wine fest and play one weekend and sit on the couch in pajama pants the very next.  He, like me, craves balance I think.

Also this weekend, I hosted book club.  This month's selection was "Room" by Emma Donague.  It was a good read and lead to some great discussion.  I love getting together with these women every month, and hopefully there will be more joining us soon.  If anyone has suggestions for books, please feel free to leave them here.  I can't just read all self help and happiness books :)

I am going to sign off.  I have a really big week ahead of me and I want to make sure that I am primed for success.  This means switching off the tv,  reading my books, running drinking all of my water and most importantly, getting enough sleep.  Have a great week dear readers!

Shoes Glorious Shoes

Lately, I have been feeling that all of this happiness progress deserves some kind of reward.  After all, I have spent the last nine months working on improving each aspect of my own happiness.  I have reached goals and I deserve a treat.

Normally, the thought of paying full retail gives me hives. (Well, not really, I am not a stress breaker outer).  I usually wait until a sale and then go to town.  Here is the pair that I am going to treat myself tomorrow:

In the rich plum color of course :)

I am excited

Quality Time

Today, the man informed me that he had read last night's post and was feeling that he should be doing more to show how much I mean to him.  I found this to be confusing.  While I do appreciate the gifts he brings and the cards he gives me, I know he cares about me because he spends quality time with me.  Whether we are at a wine tasting or sitting on the couch with our laptops out, he is showing me how much I mean to him because he is willing to do these things.  He is always helping me to make things easier for me too (need a case of wine carried up to the third floor?  He's game).  So while I feel important, he feels inadequate.  How can this be?  The answer is a pretty easy one.
We have different love languages. (On a side note,  I have finally figured out a reading list.  You will notice the Five Languages of Love is on it. )  My love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service.  This means that the way to my heart is to watch a movie with me while you do my laundry.  This knowledge has helped me immensely.  I am able to determine what it is that I need to feel loved and I am better able to seek it out (or I guess I could vocalize what it is that I need too, but the man is really good at these things, so I don't need to).  The man is also Quality Time, but has a secondary language of Words of Affirmation.  In the end, we really are compatible.

I am happy that we have both figured out our love languages.  Hopefully this will help to build an even better relationship than the one we currently enjoy. So next time the man is feeling that he is not doing a great job letting me know how he feels, I know that I need to tell him how much of a good job he is doing with my laundry.

Housekeeping

Today I was cleaning out some old e-mails and stumbled on one of those forwards that you are supposed to send to 27 people in 35 seconds or else face a lifetime of death and despair.  Obviously, I do not always send these on (unless the words death and despair are listed in the "this will happen to you" part of the please send on pitch).   This one hit a chord with me, which is probably why I kept it for a few years.  I will paste it below.  Just some food to think about.

Read Each One Carefully & Think About It a Second or Two
1. No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry.
2. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
3. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart. 
4. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them
5. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
7. Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
9. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
10. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around...
11. Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you.
12. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. 
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

I am a Sagittarius

Here is something silly that keeps me happy (well most of the time).  I look up my horoscope just about every day.  Common sense tells me that these cannot really apply to me, but I look anyway.  I look because maybe just maybe one day it will tell me that all of my dreams are coming true, and everything will be a-ok.

The funny thing is, most of my dreams are already coming true.  Everything will be a-ok in the end, and the only person who has control over any of this is me.  It is a very powerful thing to realize that all of the potential in my dreams resides with me.  I am the only one who can do these things. 

But I can look at my horoscope anyway, just to be sure I am on the right path for the day.

The Unexamined Life

Today was a great day.  The man and I went on an architectural river tour of the city, we attended the Windy City Wine Festival and we capped off the evening with a performance of "Long Story Short" by Colin Quinn.  It was a great day.

One aspect of the play that resonated with me was the beginning of Greek Philosophy.  Socrates once said "The unexamined life is not worth living."  I happen to agree.  If one does not take the time to really think about life and examine what it is that makes them tick, then what is the point of living?  If you do not take the time to know yourself, and what it is that makes you happy or sad or just plain tired, how do you function?  It is only when one truly knows themselves that others can even attempt to get to know them. 

Is this the beginning of clinical narcissism?  Probably.  Does everyone you know need to know every detail of your life?  Certainly not.  However, in this day and age, I am starting to think that many people are using sites like Facebook and Twitter to share the mundane details of their every movement, meal and passing thought without really knowing themselves.  Are we really connected if we can't connect with ourselves?  Is this what leads to chronic over sharing?  Or is this just another way to avoid having a conversation with yourself (not necessarily out loud) about what it is that you need, want or hope to accomplish?  Getting to know yourself is kind of scary, but necessary for happiness.  After all, you are the only one you are going to have to be with for the rest of your life.  I believe that relationship is worth examining.

TGIF

Thank goodness it is Friday.

I have new glasses, new contacts, the man is home and we enjoyed dinner at a great Italian place in Norridge.  I have so much to be grateful for that I just don't know where to start.  I have a wonderful family that will listen to me and offer support.  I have a great boyfriend who supports me and loves me for who I am.  I have great friends who are always there for me and will tell it like it is.  I ate the best tomato basil sauce in the greater Chicagoland area.

Most of all, I realize how important these things are to me and how far these people have allowed me to come in my life.  I would not be the person I am today without each and every person who is in my life.  The ones who are great to me, as well as the ones who are not so great.  Every yin has a yang.  I think that the not so great people are in my life right now as a reminder to appreciate the wonderful people who are in my life, and are there for the right reasons.  It might not be karma, but it is close.

Fall is coming.

My favorite season is Fall.  As long as I can remember I have loved the colors of the changing leaves, the cooler temps that allow one to sleep with the windows open and the new fall spreads in the fashion magazines (Nine West has a pair of Mary Janes this season that I will either wear or die trying).  I also kind of miss the back to school season.  I always loved attending school, even when I was a little girl I was excited to go to class on the first day and meet the teachers and new students.

As an adult, sometimes I still feel nostalgic for the back to school feeling of new pencils and fresh notebooks.  I miss the gathering of school supplies and covering of books.  I have to admit, lately I have been considering going back to school to get an MBA.  It is daunting to think about the logistics that would be involved in actually going to school right now, although I know I will end up doing it someday.  That is part of happiness.  Planning for the future, and knowing it is what you want.

You reap what you sow.

Today I was reading about karma.  (I promise someday I will figure out how to do a reading list on here).  The book is The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, but they all boil down to karma, and the concept of you reap what you sow.  Do you want money?  Give some away.  Do you want more love and affection?  Give others love and affection.  The concept is really quite simple.

Perhaps the sheer simplicity of this concept explains why it is so hard to practice.  I have always believed in karma, but I am more of a negative karma type believer.  In my mind, I would rather not perform an action based on the fact that I believe that said action could negatively affect my karma standing. For instance, cutting a car off in traffic will doom me to nothing but red lights and people who don't go the speed limit.  Perhaps it is a remnant of my catholic upbringing. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" was never used to explain something good.  It was always used to explain why we don't hit people or talk ill of them.  A psychologist would say that this is negative reinforcement (one good action will take away one bad one).

So, if karma does exist and you do in fact reap what you sow, and you do want to do unto others as they would do unto you, then perhaps I should take a different approach.  Instead of thinking about what is going to flush my karma down the cosmic toilet, I should focus on actions that will build my karma account with things that I would like more of in my life.  I guess it is time to break out the checkbook and start hugging people.  I will have to see if this can work for me.  Another idea that I got from the book is to wish everyone you meet happiness, joy and laughter (quietly and to yourself so they don't think that you are nuts).  It will bring more happiness, joy and laughter to your life as well.

And as a side note.  I watched more than one hour of tv.  My house is messier than it was yesterday and I am unusually tired.  While only one hour of tv feels draconian, some happy medium is going to have to be reached.  Perhaps this is part of my karma too.

So

Selfish or Self Aware?

One of the questions that keeps coming up is "Am I being selfish by putting my happiness first?"  I think not.  I think that to not focus on being happy is a detriment to yourself.  I will admit, it took a while for me to wrap my head around this as well. I am glad that I did though.  It has made a huge difference.

In the beginning, putting yourself first does feel completely selfish and self indulgent.  It is hard to think about taking a few minutes for yourself when there is a pile of work to be done and there are people who are counting on you to be there for them.  It feels irresponsible to read a magazine when you can take care of the hundreds of e-mails and phone calls that need to be returned.  How are you supposed to stop and take a breath when life demands that you run at 150 miles an hour?  I cannot imagine the added stresses of kids and a husband, or a dog.  A full time job, a condo, a couple of plants and life in general are enough to stress me out.

The strange thing is that once you start focusing on the little bits of happiness you are better able to cope with the stresses of everyday life.  It is kind of like being on the plane when the oxygen mask falls.  You have to put on your mask first before you can help anyone else. It is not because you do not want to help others, or you want to see them suffer.  It is because if you don't put on your mask you will die from the pressure changes and will thus be rendered unable to help anyone else.

I have found that I am a better daughter, bestie, girlfriend, niece, and even sister when I have taken the time to focus on making me happy.  It doesn't take long.  Sometimes it takes a few minutes to read an article or go for a run.  An hour spent reading a book makes me a better listener and keeps me grounded.  Taking a few minutes to tidy the house before I go to bed makes me feel better in the morning and more pleasant.  The man and I have talked about this concept as well.  While we both derive happiness from different sources (some the same) we both recognize that it is important to make sure that we do the small things that make us happy individually. 

So, my challenge to you this evening is to think of one small thing that you consider an indulgence that truly makes you happy and do it, excuses be damned.  You will be better for it.  I promise.

Labor Day

Also known around here as day one with one hour of tv, and no man (he is on a real vacation, not the permanent kind).  I don't think I have been quite so productive in quite a long time.  I have cleaned just about every surface in the condo.  My office no longer looks like  a FEMA disaster area.  My kitchen is spotless.  My laundry is all done.  The glass is all sparkling.  I even cleaned out two drawers today.  I have read three magazines and stickered all of my PartyLite catalogs (ok, I caved and decided that I could turn on the tv if I was working on something like this, but it was only one episode of Criminal minds, and I put away laundry during commercials). 

All of this leads me to wonder how much more I will be able to get done this week.  I have activities planned every night until the man gets home, but I really think that it is the lack of tv that is creating all of this energy and free time.  Tomorrow, I am going to try running in the morning before work.  Hopefully that will keep me pumped up for the duration of the day, and leave more reading time tomorrow evening. 

Good night dear readers, I should sleep better tonight without all of the electromagnetic waves from the tv disturbing my chi.

Music Theory

Anyone who knows me also knows of my somewhat schizophrenic music taste.  I enjoy all sorts of music, with very few exceptions.  The other day I had my Zune on shuffle (it is another thing that the man and I share, we are both Zunes in a I Pod world, but I digress) and it played Prince, Parliment and then Bach followed by Rilo Kiley.  That is a typical music day in my world.

Music of all kinds makes me feel happy.  There is music for every mood and just about every occasion.  In summertime, I love listening to Dave Matthews Band and Bob Marley.  For some reason I associate those artists with sunshine.  When I am wanting to chill out, a little Ray LaMontange or Fleetwood Mac have been doing the trick lately. 

I also love learning about new artists (well to me at least).  I have discovered David Bowie and Fleetwood Mac lately.  I feel the need to spend more time with seventies artists.  I have been told to check out Crosby Stills Nash and Young, the Carpenters and Stevie Wonder.

Who should be my new artist?

Home Alone Part 1

So here I am.  Home alone.  Blissfully alone.

The man is on vacation for the next week, and I have left a cook out with some of the college buddies early so I can come home and be totally alone.  I have been extra careful to schedule bare minimum activities this weekend so I can have my extra alone time.

I am one of those people who don't only crave alone time, I need it to survive.  Lately, I have been so busy (and happily so) that I haven't had a really good alone time kind of weekend.  I plan on taking full advantage in the next couple of days.  I find it helps me to decompress, and reconnect with myself.  Cherry cobbler for dinner?  Great!  Read a book on meditation?  Done.  Sleep until 10am?  Of course.  Run at noon, certainly.  There is no one here to judge, and there is no one to be on a wavelength with (not that I mind, but sometimes I need to do my own thing). 

I also find that having some alone time helps me to work out a few things in my head.  I decided today what my next financial step is going to be (more money in the peace of mind account).  I have my next goals set and I have plans to accomplish them.  I don't know why, but I do better when I have the time alone to contemplate these things.

What do you do when you are alone?

Girls Night

Tonight, I got a whole new vocabulary.  Yes, I have now watched an episode of Jersey Shore in its entirety.  While I do feel that I have lost important IQ points, I do see where these can be funny.  My first thought is where do they find these people?  The next thought is how much liquor do they feed them?

I will admit,  I had some wild and crazy times in my younger days, but nothing like this.  And I do believe that my liver thanks me for it.  Not to mention my dignity and my mother, but then again, I do not get paid what these kids do.  Oh well, there is always a trade off.

So, tonight I am going to sign off by saying tomorrow, everybody GTL and then have some tee shirt time!