Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I need to run.

How do I know?  I am actually dreading it.  I am anxious and nervous and generally hating the idea.  The last thing I want to do is go get my running clothes out.  I do not want to put them on and lace my shoes.  I cannot stand the thought of grabbing my ear buds and walking down to the fitness center feels like taking that last long walk to the electric chair.  There is hesitation.  I am reluctant to push the start button on the and raise the incline and speed on the treadmill.

Here is the weird thing, after I have walked for about five minutes listening to some rap (I know, I know, but it has a really good beat), I am ready for my first interval. I get a rush from increasing the speed and pumping my arms.  I love the feeling of blood rushing through my body.  I feel alive.  I can feel myself smiling as the sweat starts to run down my face and into my shirt.  As my breathing becomes heavier, I visualize myself crossing the finish line of a race.  My mind is exceptionally clear and I feel like I can do anything.  My joints feel looser, my muscles tighter, getting stronger with every stride.  This is what I have been working toward.  A few moments of peace while working my body at its maximum. 

As I start my cool down walk, I feel a sense of accomplishment. My heart rate starts to slow down and I think about how much I love my runs.  As I stretch my muscles I appreciate what they are capable of.  I feel like I am on top of the world, nothing is impossible.  Everything can be attained.  I have no worries left.  They have left my body with my breath.  My concerns drip away with the sweat.  I feel nothing but happy and exhilarated as I take a shower and let my muscles relax in the warmth of the water.

But then I dry off, get dressed and begin to dread my next run.

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