Valentines Day

Valentine's Day.  The single girl's equivalent of the atom bomb.  As a proud single girl, I was very happy to get some single girlfriends together, dress in all black and share rich food.  We called this tradition Valencraps Day.  I realize that this might seem weird to some, and like great fun for others, but it worked for me.  Until this year.

This year, I have the man in my life.  While this is a happy change, I do find myself feeling under pressure.  This is THE FIRST Valentine's day.  What do I get the man as a proper token of my affections? It is our first Valentines day, so a standard will be set. It is also on a Tuesday night, will he be willing to switch days with my mom?  Am I really caught in some kind of dispute about my time?  It is almost too much pressure.  Here is what I do know.  It will all work itself out. While I often accuse the man of being slow to change his ways, perhaps I need to change a few of mine. I certainly hope that Valencraps day will continue, we will just have to call it something else (and obviously hold it on a different day).  And if someone decides to celebrate Valencraps day and I am not invited, I understand that as well.  For now, I will continue to think about Valentines day, and decorate.  I came up with this display tonight.

It is the PartyLite Large Change-O Luminary with the red LED Pillar Candle.  Any red candle will work though.

Raindrops on Roses...

I had a rough weekend.  Rather than dwell on the past, I am going to focus on the future.  I know that I have to get myself in the frame of mind to be happy first.  These thoughts are not new.  The first time I remember hearing them was in the Sound of Music.  Most recently, I have been reading "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting".  This book also teaches that you feel better and attract more positive things in your life by being happy, even if you have to will yourself happy.  So, maybe Julie Andrews was onto something when she said "I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad" (did you sing that line too? Bet it made you smile :) ).  In the spirit of forcing myself to vibrate at a more positive level here are some of my favorite things.  In no particular order:

Peanut Butter, shoes, butterflies, sheets that are fresh out of the dryer, traveling, warm woolly blankets, crocheting, cashmere, Auntie Deany's hot chocolate, reading a really good book (might I recommend the Hunger Games?), snuggling with the man, laughing with the besties, bonding with my mom, hanging out with my dad, hugs from loved ones, bubble baths, my shoe closet, candles, good movies, fresh lavender, lilies,  Intervention, antique pins, a great glass of wine, cheese, the zoo, the botanical garden, museum days.

Perhaps it is the power of suggestion, but after thinking about these things, I really do feel happier.

Starting the week off right...

I am going to start this week off right.  Last week was not the best week ever, so I will have to make this one be the best.  I have a new tv, a newly cleaned drain, one less sweater crudding up the closet, and I am going to explore the wide world of grocery stores on Monday nights.  I am going to turn each negative into a positive this week.  There is no other way!

Plus, the business is going to be in full swing with this deal... Do you love Glo-Lite candles as much as I do?  Let me know!

Compassion

Compassion:  A sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it. - Webster's Dictionary

I do not consider myself a very compassionate person.  I try.  I really do at times, but I get bogged down in the mess.  I have a very hard time feeling sorry for other people when there are ways that I can see to avoid the situations that were created.  A part of me feels like compassion enables these people to keep doing whatever it is that is creating their distress.  For instance, a compassionate person would not have texted the man "Seeing as to how you still have the ability to text, I  would say it is safe to say that your brain is intact", they would have been more sympathetic to his concerns about his brain. They certainly would have never suggested to web md the issue at hand.  Clearly, this is a virtue that I need to work on.

Here is the million dollar question for me.  How does being compassionate make you happier?  There are numerous studies that show that people who help others feel happier.  Volunteers are compassionate, as are nurses, teachers, counselors, and veterinarians.  And so I begin my own little journey of learning compassion.  It will be a tough one. I have had mixed reviews.  The man said "being compassionate may kill you...and I know that wasn't compassionate".  The besties were supportive yet skeptical.  My mom was not quite sure how this will work out.  If these reactions are not a huge indicator of a quality that needs to be developed, I do not know what is.  Now is not the time for tough love.  It is a time of being sympathetic to others and trying to help.

I am still not sure exactly where to start on this journey of learning compassion.  My mom suggested looking up the definition (which was a huge eye opener).  For now I will focus on being sympathetic to other's distress, and not make it worse.  This means sending more supportive texts, and responding with the appropriate amount of feeling and less sarcasm.  I am still not sure how good I will be at this, but it is clear to me that any improvement will be a vast one from where I stand now.

In a Perfect World.

So the plan today was to write a blog about my version of the perfect week.  To put it bluntly, it is not going to happen for me this week.  I am not able to run, as I have developed a wicked case of shin splints.  I went out to dinner tonight instead of cooking myself the absolute healthiest dinner I could scrounge up.  I overslept and did not get my hair dried before I left the house, and it went downhill from there.  This is not my version of the perfect week.  Or is it?

Tonight, while out to the aforementioned dinner with a new friend, it hit me.  Nothing is perfect, and that in and of itself makes things perfect.  Perhaps I need to revise my version of the perfect week to include things like going out to dinner and getting both wine and dessert.  Perfection can include leaving some dishes in the sink so that I can get to bed early.  Like I was telling my friend, perfection is not all it is cracked up to be.  In fact, I am thinking it is exhausting. 

In a perfect world, we would all be doing things correctly, and we would probably all look the same, and I for one, would be cranky from lack of sleep.  We are all deeply flawed, but it is precisely those flaws that make each of us perfectly unique.  It is simply finding the correct combination of flaws that work together in perfect harmony to create the perfect friendship, relationship or family.

If it is not on the list...

I have a dirty habit.  I keep making lists.  I make lists for everything.  Lists of things to get done in an evening, lists of books I have read for the year, lists of goals that I have for the year, lists of people to call, lists of things to do when I have five free minutes that I don't know what to do with, lists of people to send a letter to, lists of projects that I want to get done in my house, lists of yarn to order for projects that I want to complete.  About the only list I do not make is a list of lists.

While my list making tends to intrigue the man, who makes bare bones lists if any, I derive great satisfaction from them.  Making lists makes me feel more organized.  I take great pleasure in crossing off a task when it is done.  I have to stop in the grocery store to cross off items that are in my basket.  The crossing off makes me feel like I have made a great accomplishment, a list with all items crossed off is a trophy to be kept and treasured.  My only problem with lists are that I sometimes put too much on them.  I find that I put ten to thirteen things on my list of items to take care of each evening.  I accomplish about six to eight of these items.  The daily to do list is still a work in progress.  Someday I will put it on the list of things to perfect.

I need to run.

How do I know?  I am actually dreading it.  I am anxious and nervous and generally hating the idea.  The last thing I want to do is go get my running clothes out.  I do not want to put them on and lace my shoes.  I cannot stand the thought of grabbing my ear buds and walking down to the fitness center feels like taking that last long walk to the electric chair.  There is hesitation.  I am reluctant to push the start button on the and raise the incline and speed on the treadmill.

Here is the weird thing, after I have walked for about five minutes listening to some rap (I know, I know, but it has a really good beat), I am ready for my first interval. I get a rush from increasing the speed and pumping my arms.  I love the feeling of blood rushing through my body.  I feel alive.  I can feel myself smiling as the sweat starts to run down my face and into my shirt.  As my breathing becomes heavier, I visualize myself crossing the finish line of a race.  My mind is exceptionally clear and I feel like I can do anything.  My joints feel looser, my muscles tighter, getting stronger with every stride.  This is what I have been working toward.  A few moments of peace while working my body at its maximum. 

As I start my cool down walk, I feel a sense of accomplishment. My heart rate starts to slow down and I think about how much I love my runs.  As I stretch my muscles I appreciate what they are capable of.  I feel like I am on top of the world, nothing is impossible.  Everything can be attained.  I have no worries left.  They have left my body with my breath.  My concerns drip away with the sweat.  I feel nothing but happy and exhilarated as I take a shower and let my muscles relax in the warmth of the water.

But then I dry off, get dressed and begin to dread my next run.

Help

Today I was thinking about help.  I have a hard time asking for help, however, I find myself often more than willing to offer it.  Which also got me thinking, what if these people really don't want my help?  When does helping stop being helpful and start being annoying?  I would sincerely hope that if the person I have chosen to impart my wisdom to would appreciate my little tidbit of advice, and if they didn't I would also hope that they would kindly tell me to buzz off.  It is human nature to want to help your fellow man.  I think I have the urge to help because I don't like to see people or animals suffer. I also feel that if I can give a piece of advice, or share a similar experience so a person does not have to go through the same painful experience I am obligated to share. 

I have a hard time asking for help because I do not like to admit that I cannot do things on my own.  I enjoy taking care of myself and have worked hard to put myself in a position to be able to take care of myself.  Plus, I like things to be done the way I would do them. I am not just talking about my laundry either.  I have a plethora of instances where I have had a hard time with accepting help, and it is purely based on the fact that the things that I received help with were not done the exact way I would do them.  Like the man folding some clothes for me, or my dad hanging a light fixture.  I am trying to work on it, but I still wonder if other people have the same issues with help that I have offered.

These are the thoughts that have preoccupied my mind today.

I also finished my first crochet project this year.  It is a dog blanket for the man's sister.  The pic is below!

It's Been One Week..

Who doesn't love the Barenaked Ladies?  Admittedly they are a Nineties Band, but the song makes me smile.  I have been really good with the goals this week.  The man and I also enjoyed his first hockey game, our first couples date of the year and I am almost done with my first crochet project and on the brink of finishing the first book of the year.  I have some great momentum going on, and will do everything I can to keep it up.

I have also been doing well at taking pictures for the 365 project.  I have been taking pictures of all sorts of things that make me happy, the man, flowers, gnomes, my shoe closet, etc.  I am starting to see the full potential of this project for me.  At the end of the year I will not only have a photo documentary of the past year of my life, but I will have some visual reminders of things that make me happy.  This journey is all about happiness, and I think that this project, which I can eventually turn into a book will be a great road map for success.  At the very least, I will have a whole bunch of pictures that are guaranteed to make me smile.

As promised, below is the recipe for the first vegetarian meal with the man.  I found it in a Real Simple magazine, and tweaked it as needed for my time constraints.  The man was not thrilled to find olives in his dinner, but he was able to pick them out.  We both felt full, and the leftovers froze and reheated quite well.

Mediterranean Campanelle with Roasted Red Peppers and Almonds

Hands on time/ Serves 4

12 oz campanelle, penne or other short pasta (I used whole grain rotini)
4 red or orange bell peppers cut into quarters, seeds removed (I used a jar of roasted red peppers)
3/4 cup pitted kalmata olives
1/2 cup coarsely chopped roasted almonds (I microwaved some slivered almonds for a minute)
1/4 cup olive oil
1 Tbsp fresh thyme leaves (I used dried thyme, and I didn't measure it.  I just sprinkled)
salt and pepper

-Cook the pasta according to the package directions.  Reserve 1/4 cup of the water.  Drain pasta and return to the pot

-Meanwhile, heat broiler.  Place peppers on a baking sheet skin side up and broil until blackened, 8 - 10 minutes.  When peppers are cool enough to handle, cut off the blackened part of the skin.  Cut the flesh into 1 inch pieces.  Or, if you are like me, open the jar and cut into 1 inch pieces.  Bonus points for using the already cut roasted red peppers

- Add the peppers, olives, almonds, oil, thyme, half the cooking water, salt and pepper to the pasta and toss to combine.

-Enjoy

Girls Night

Tonight was girls night.  One of the besties couldn't make it because she was sick, but she was there in spirit, and facebook posts. 

I personally think that there has been a lot of sickness going around.  I myself had a cold last week.  I believe that this is because of the unseasonably warm weather we have been having.  I live in the Midwestern United States.  It is supposed to be below zero.  I was a little freaked out this evening when the temperature in my car read 52 degrees.  The positive part of me says that I should enjoy the warm weather, but the completely irrational part of me says that global warming is for real, and we are all going to die (ok, I have been watching a lot of History Channel Armageddon shows again).  Alas, there is nothing that mankind can do to control the weather.  In fact, many of our paid weathermen cannot even predict the weather accurately (although this feat might be easier for them if mankind could in fact, control the weather).   Ah well, I am going to enjoy the break in the heating expenses, and pray that I do not have to turn on the air conditioner...

Tuesdays with Lady

So today was the first Tuesday night of the year.  My mom stopped by and we had dinner and decided to start the 52 week makeover again.  I would recommend this book to anyone looking to make some changes in their lives.  It is by Cheryl Richards and it is called Life Makeovers, 52 Practical and Inspiring Ways to Improve Your Life One Week at a Time.

The first week asks that you list your accomplishments for the last year.  You have to come up with 25 of them and then pick the best five.  I have accomplished so much in the last year, and I am having a hard time deciding which ones are the best ones.

Clearly, my addiction to Teen Mom is not one of them...

Day 2 of 2012

True to form, today went according to plan.  Kind of.  I had dinner at the man's house.  The man and I have decided to work together towards a couple of goals we each have for the New Year.  I never thought that being with the man would be so enriching.  I must admit though, I have been having some difficulties adjusting to being a part of this "team".  Sometimes, I wonder if the man is going to get tired of some neuroses that I have.  So far, he is supportive and just quietly ignores the ones that are truly insane (like the need I feel to make lists every day of things that I want to accomplish, but only finish half of).   I am excited that he has embraced the new challenges and that we can work together to get our goals accomplished.  For instance, I said that I think we should go on more couple dates.  He set one up for this Friday already.  He wants to eat one vegetarian meal a week.  I have a new recipe on deck for Wednesday.  This year should be a great one.

I will be sure to post the recipe on Wednesday!  In the meantime, please become a follower.  I really want to save a penguin!

I'm Getting the Blog Back Together!

Well dear reader, I am back from the time away.  Much like the Blues Brothers (and if you have not seen the movie, by all means, please make sure you see it before 2013) I am back.  Plus, I have decided that I am going to save a penguin.  Here is the deal.  I currently have 8 followers.  I will put one dollar away for every follower that I get.  When I get to 55, I am going to adopt a penguin from the International Penguin Conservation Work Group.  Check it out online, http://www.seabirds.org/adopt.htm.  So tell your friends!  The Happiness Warrior is back and determined to make 2012 better than last year.

Here are some goals that I am going to accomplish this year:

1) Run one St. Patrick's Day 5K.  Run another one for Independence Day and beat the St. Patrick's Day time.  Run a 10K Turkey Trot.
2) Eliminate all credit card debt by June 1.
3) Do one Suduko puzzle a day
4) Keep a gratitude journal everyday
5) Double the PartyLite sales each month
6) Finish three more bucket list items
7) Complete a 365 project.  Want to check it out?  go to 365project.org, Amanda Krismer
8) Go to top performers each quarter at work

These are of course, just a sampling of the items on my list.  2011 was a great year for me.  I finished all of the items on my household improvement list.  I met The Man.  I found a wonderful new job.  I have traveled to many places.  I have started new hobbies, like running, and continued to develop other ones, such as crochet.  I accomplished so much personally and I can honestly say I have never been happier.  I am excited to make 2012 even happier.  I hope you can do the same.

Remember to tell your friends about this blog.  Save a penguin!