Halloween

This was the first of what I hope is many Halloweens with the man.  He loves the holiday.  I am sort of ambivalent about it.  For instance, I would rather light myself on fire than put on a costume, he thinks of something to dress up as every year to hand out candy.  I use candy for decoration (OK, I am eating some of the candy corn now...) he stockpiles it because he loves to eat it.  I am happy with a few pumpkins and a Halloween tree, he has a plethora of Halloween decorations and relishes putting them all out.  He picks out pumpkins to carve, I pick up cans of pumpkin to cook with.  You get the point.

While these differences seem like they are vast, I think that they balance us.  While I doubt that I will ever be convinced to dress up, and he will be able to see pumpkins as a food source, we can certainly meet in the middle.  That is the great thing about this relationship.  We are able to compromise. 

In the meantime, he is picking out the perfect Christmas cookie recipe, and I am looking for the perfect pair of boots...

Working for the Weekend

This weekend was another great one.  The man and I are set to begin our new $10 date month the day after tomorrow.  We decided to practice in New Glaryus on Saturday.  We came close.  There was a $3.50 beer tasting, a trip to the cheese store (don't laugh, I LOVE cheese) and all the beautiful scenery we could handle.

This week is now officially my third week of getting up at 5:00 am.  Technically, this should be the last week before it is a habit.  While I am kind of sad, I am excited, as I have discovered that I like getting home earlier.  I just have to get a handle on bedtime being at 10:30.

Have a great week everyone!

Everyday is a Winding Road

Tonight was girls night.  We were all a little off.  One of the besties had both of her children with her (who seemed to be a little off themselves) and had to leave early, as bedtime was fast approaching and naptime did not last as long as originally intended.  The other bestie has had some troubles at her office, and is feeling overwhelmed.  I myself am still adjusting to my new schedule and have forgotten to take my vitamin D supplements for a couple of days hence, I was exhausted as well.

The truly great thing about Girls night is that no matter what happens or doesn't happen we are still together.  We help each other and we understand each other.  I think that that in and of itself is more comforting than two sleeping children, acknowledgement of a job well done or three days worth of sleeping in.  I am glad that even after all of these years, and life changes that we are able to take the time each Thursday to be together, even when things are tough.  I am lucky to have these two wonderful women in my life.

Can't buy me love

After all of these vacations the past month, a few new pairs of shoes, a COBRA payment and just life, this girl is a little cash poor.  It turns out the man is stretched a little bit too lately.  We have collectively come up with a new plan for November.  We are only going to go on dates that cost $10 or less total.  Meaning TOTAL.  No date shall cost more than $10.00 USD. 

This joint venture is going to take a fair amount of creativity and some good old fashioned home cooking, but I believe that we are up for the challenge.  Who knows.  Maybe this will end up being so fun that we will do it a little more often.  At any rate it will be interesting and a bit creative.  Life for us is about to change...

Here are some ideas that we have come up with so far:

1) Dinner and a movie.  We go to the grocery store with $10 and pick out wine, food and a redbox movie
2) City Pass from the Library (more research is needed on this one, as I am not sure if his library offers this as mine does not)
3) Day trip to starved rock
4) Day trip to Lincoln Park Zoo
5) Book Night
6) Game Night
7) Library movie and Pizza

I am sure we will find more, but this seems to be a good start.  And if all else fails we already know that we have fun no matter what we do.  That in and of itself is worth more than any theater tickets or bottle of wine.

Shake Some Action

Tonight was another PartyLite training.  I love how motivated I feel after I leave there.  Now, I just need to put these ideas into practice.  I did make the most delightful discovery on my phone though.  I have a memo pad as an app.  I simply put things that I need to accomplish this week for each of my five passions on the phone.  While I do write these things on post its in my planner for the week, this is with me all of the time.  I can erase as I get things done and then move on. 

Speaking of my top five passions (which I got from taking The Passion Test), I recently reviewed my Passion Test and revamped my top five.  I even went one step further than last time and made the recommended "Passion Sheets" detailing the benchmarks to know when I have hit each passion.  It is recommended to retake the test every 6 months, and frankly, I was surprised by what came up for me to concentrate on for the next six months.  I do believe that these new passions of mine were a direct result of being in a miserable work environment that I was eager to escape.   So for the next five months and change I will concentrate on being balanced, surrounded by love, a successful blogger, (so if you read this tell your friends!), enjoying my ideal relationship (the man is thrilled to be able to help with this one) and laughing the whole time.  While I know for a fact that this system works (I accomplished most of the previous five passions in about six months) I am eager to see how these passions play out.  Many times, things don't look exactly how I imagined them to be when I wrote the Passions, but they are accomplished just the same.  I will keep you posted!

Working at the Carwash

The man has been busy.  While I was on vacation this weekend, he detailed and waxed my car.  He got me a new plant (which we will call Phil), he picked me up from the airport, and fed me dinner tonight.  He has done all of this and more for me.  I appreciate all of this, but sometimes, I have to admit that it freaks me out a little bit.

I now completely understand the Sex and the City episode where Carrie's computer crashes and she has a hard time letting Aidan help her.  Like Carrie, I am worried that I will get used to having all of this help and become dependent on it.  What is a girl to do if her boyfriend who loves the clean car and is willing to do all of the work to get it clean and keep it that way is no longer around to do these things? While it would be easy to motor on over to Turtle Wax, I think that the psychological damage would be greater.  I worry about my independence atrophying.  I like taking care of myself, and I am working hard on letting the man help in this endeavor, but it is hard to let go of some of these things.  Is independence like a foreign language, if you don't use it, you lose it?  Or is this another sign that this relationship is different than any other I have been in. 

I know that this relationship is truly a partnership.  The man and I are a team.  I just have to let go and throw him the ball.  And keep my car clean...

We are Family!!

Every year, the women in my family all get together in a different city to relax and catch up.  This year we decided to meet up in our nation's capital to do a little Civil War history.  We went to Gettysburg, and today we did part of the John Wilkes Booth Escape route.  We have learned about Robert Lee's bold attempt to break the Union lines at Gettysburg (this was not the best strategy he could have employed). We spent time in Ford's Theater, the Peterson house, the Surratt boarding house (which interestingly enough is now a Wok and Roll restaurant with a plaque outside), the Surratt Taven and the Mudd House.  We met and took a picture of an actual descendant of Dr. Mudd.

Part of the adventure is the laughter and companionship, there is never a dull moment.  The other part is the interesting things that we see.  While I do hold out hope that we will someday continue our Ghost walk trip, these ladies have helped shape me into the woman I am today.  Even as I write this, we are laughing about Disco music and the Abraham Lincoln activity books that we have now to commemorate this trip.

So far we have been to Washington D.C (twice), Savannah, Providence, Springfield IL, Las Vegas, Philadephia.  We have made some great memories and we laugh all of the time.  I cannot wait to see what will happen next.

Plans

Not only is Plans a great Death Cab for Cutie album, having plans is a kind of security blanket for me.  I have plans for everything.  I have a five year plan, a one year plan, a one week plan, and a plan for tonight (which will more than likely be changing quite rapidly here).  Planning makes me feel better about things because I feel like I have a direction.  I have a road map to where I want to be and I have broken it down to smaller steps.  For me, there is nothing like accomplishing my goals (which were planned out!).  In the great words of Hannibal from the A-Team "I love it when a plan comes together". 

The man is one who does not take comfort in planning.  He has goals and ambitions but feels that planning everything out leaves room for the plans to fall through.  While this is a completely rational line of thought, I struggle with it.  While I agree that I cannot plan for everything (but I can certainly try!) I can plan what to do in certain events, such as job loss or an accident or a bad hair day.  I feel like having these plans gives me a place to start to pick up the pieces, and a place to begin. 

One day, we will be able to agree and figure this out together.  I am not going to mark a day on the calendar, but I am quite certain that we can figure something out.

Day 2...

So today was the second day of the new job.  The good news, I was able to get up before my alarm.  The bad news, my alarm goes off at 5:00 am.  This is already getting easier. A long journey begins with a single step right?

Throughout this whole process, I have been reminded that I have a great support system.  I have my mom, who is always willing to provide advice.  My dad is around to help in any way he can, and it is always worth a laugh.  I have the besties, who are always there to listen to me whine, or make me laugh or even show up at a gathering of former co-workers.  I am also fortunate to have the man, who has been wonderfully supportive throughout this whole process and always there with a hug when needed. Not to mention the countless number of other friends and family members who have helped me along this journey by simply listening and being there.

It is easy to take these people for granted, and I am sure that everyone has people that they know they can count on and maybe feel the same way.  Thinking about all of this helps me to remember that I am not alone.  I am surrounded by love and I sincerely hope that everyone can feel this at some time.

In Training

Training.

It is such a simple concept really.  Training is defined on the Merriam Webster Dictionary Online as:

1

a: the act, process, or method of one that trains b: the skill, knowledge, or experience acquired by one that trains

2

: the state of being trained

 

I am currently in the state of being trained at the new job and I attended training for PartyLite this evening.  I am also training for a 5K run and training myself to write in my gratitude journal every night, and wake up every morning at 5:00 AM.  If all goes according to plan, within the next month or so, I will be able to do all of these things without additional training.  I know that all of this training will pay off in the long run, but sometimes, like now, it seems like a hassle. 

 

Here is the great part though.  Training brings results.  I am learning how to do a completely new job that will eventually lead me to bigger and better jobs along the way (and help with my little candle business).  The PartyLite training that I received will help me grow my business.  Running and gratitude will make me feel better about myself and getting up at 5:00 AM will help me accomplish everything that I need to do in the day.

 

I just need to keep my eyes on the prize.

 

What kinds of things are you training for?

Tomorrow, the next frontier

Tomorrow is a very big day.  For the first time in seven years, I am starting a new job. It is exhilarating and frightening at the same time.  I am excited to meet new people and completely shift gears in my career.  I am finally feeling like I am starting a career.  It feels like I am a real grown up.

So many things have happened in the past two weeks, and I have been a little stretched.  I have not been posting as I usually do, and I hope that you can understand.  I have been a busy girl!  Getting ready for the new job while celebrating six months of dating the man (not really too hard : ) ) raising money for the American Cancer Society's Making Strides (it was this morning!), hanging with the besties, and running the PartyLite business has been a lot to balance.  I have felt a great relief getting all of these things accomplished while having a mostly clean house, it has taken a toll.

I promise to do better at posting. Lord knows that there will be plenty of new material coming my way.  And I look forward to all of it.

Practice Makes Perfect

Perhaps it is because the sun is going down earlier.  Maybe it is because I have been so stressed out lately, but I cannot seem to keep my eyes open after ten o'clock.  This is actually a good thing.

With the change in my job comes a change in my hours.  I am finding myself having to practice getting up at 5:15 am so that I am ready to start my job on Monday at the proper time.  We all know how important sleep is to me (and others who have to spend time with me) and I am sure I will be able to keep up on my sleep.  Thank goodness I am able to do this in autumn.  By summertime, I should be primed and ready to stay up past 10!

Decisions Decisions

It seems like every day I have more decisions to make.  For instance, I wake up and decide what shoes to wear, and then what clothes.  What will I have for lunch, dinner, who will I talk to after work, what will I watch on TV for my glorious sixty minutes of television (it is still working for me).  Then there are harder decisions, like do I leave my job, which job do I take, is the salary they are offering me enough?  Thankfully, those decisions are all made and now, I find myself trying to decide what direction I want my blog to go in.

I like the online journal thing I have going on.  I have been given some positive feedback on recipes.  I am wondering if I should kick it up a notch and do a year long project of some kind.  Another decision to make, but a happy one.  And fulfilling.

Thanks to all those who read this.

Tomorrow is only a day away

Tomorrow.  Ah tomorrow.  The day that every procrastinator dreads.  Tomorrow is always when I say I will put away my laundry and finally pick up in my office.  Tomorrow is when I am going to make the dreaded phone call and pay my bills.  The old saying never put off until tomorrow what you can do today does not apply.  Neither does one of my favorite quotes from Mother Theresa "Yesterday is gone, tomorrow has not yet come, we only have today." 

Now, I would like to think that these sayings are meant to remind us to not take tomorrow for granted.  That we should be thankful for everyday that we wake up and can procrastinate some more.  Even on a less spiritual level, I would like to think that these quotes mean that you should not wait until tomorrow to tell a loved one that you love them, or make a good change in your life (like quitting smoking or making a doctors appointment).  However, in my heart I know that while these things are true, this is not the essence of these sayings.

Living in the moment and not taking tomorrow for granted also means that we need to take care of the messy stuff in life too.  The stuff we don't want to deal with (like a mountain of laundry that needs to be put away) still needs to be done, and the sooner it is done the less time you have to worry about it.  Or in my particular case, look at it.  Life is too short to spend time not worrying about the messy stuff.  I just need to motivate myself to actually do it and get it over with.

Progress Report

Tonight, I will give you a update on my conditions for optimal happiness.

1) Hydration.  I have been making a more concerted effort in this area, and I feel great.  The days that I don't get enough water really stand out to me.

2) Sleep.  Since my current employment situation has been figured out, I have been sleeping better. I am no longer waking up at 4 am and not able to go back to sleep.  I am sleeping more soundly as well.  All it took was to get rid of some stress.

3) Running.  I have been making more time for this too.  I increased a couple of items and this has affected my distance.  But I am running faster and at a better incline.  And it makes me feel good.

4)  Reading.  I have been reading for at least an hour every day.  It feels fantastic, and I am on track to meet my fifty book goal this year.

5) Clean.  My house is quite clean lately.  In fact a little bit of clutter has been driving me nuts lately.  This is one area that I find myself constantly having to work at.  It seems like there is not enough time in the day sometimes, but the ten minutes I should be spending at this a day really make a difference.

I hope you are making progress as well!

This is so not the best day ever.

Even the Happiness Warrior can have a bad day.  Want to know what is going on here?  I cannot get my printer to recognize my wireless network.  For some reason I am starving at ten (even after dinner and dessert!)  I have not had all of my water, my house is a mess and I didn't get my run in.

But none of this matters in the grand scheme of things.  All of these are problems that can be fixed.  I can pay someone to fix the printer issue (after I let the man have a crack at it).  I can space my snacks out  better tomorrow so I won't be starving at ten.  I can make sure that I drink all of my water.  I can put a few things away in the house and I can wake up a little earlier tomorrow and get my run in.  The important things are that I was able to spend a couple of hours with my mom tonight, I was able to be on my candle conference call, I am healthy I am happy and I am in control.

After all, tomorrow is another day!

I am Batman

Yes dear reader, much like Bruce Wayne, I, the Happiness Warrior, have a double identity.  While my other identity does not have a cape or a really f-ing cool car that does all sorts of tricks or a butler, it is a secret identity nonetheless. 

For the past year I have been unhappy at my job.  The past few months have been miserable.  Rather than dwell on the job that was making me unhappy, I actively chose to find happiness in other places.  I met the man (who informed me that he loves being "the man", an alter ego of his own perhaps) I started my own little work from home business.  I focused more time on friends and family.  I kept a gratitude journal. I started running.  I became so happy in every other aspect of my life that my job seemed to become a deeper black hole that was gradually sucking the other things that I had worked so hard on into the vortex.  It was a tough decision, but things need to change.  I had changed so much that the job that I had and the people I worked with were no longer enough to contribute to my happiness.  In fact, the happier I became, the more obvious the unhappiness of my coworkers became as well.  As the saying goes, misery loves company, and I sincerely hope that those of my coworkers who are unhappy can find peace and happiness in their own right.  I just know I need to do what is best for me.  I accepted a new position and resigned this morning.

Since this is a blog about happiness and my one woman happiness mission, I am going to choose again to be happy.  I will not dwell on the bad parts of my job, but rather the good things that it has given me.  My time at this job has shown me that I can accomplish whatever I set out to do.  They gave me a place to go for the past seven years, and several friendships that I know will continue after my days at the company are done.  This job has enabled me to purchase my car and my condo (both items on my bucket list).  I have many great memories, and plenty of laughter that I will carry on into my next adventure in life.  I have the confidence to begin this adventure because of lessons that I have learned while working with my current company.  For that I have to say thank you and I wish you all the best.

I left my heart in San Francisco

The vaca with the man is winding down to a close.  We have seen San Francisco in all of it's glory.  We have tasted wines, we have walked what seems like every part of this city, we have taken plenty of pictures (238 to be exact.  I just ordered them on Snapfish, I love this service).  But most of all, we have reinforced our compatibility.

We now know that we can work together as a team to figure out where we are (as we found out when the GPS system decided to not work on the way to Muir woods), we can agree on where to go for dinner, what we want to eat and how we are going to get there (usually.  The man LOVES his walks.  I am a weenie).  In fact, he is looking over my shoulder as I type this right now, and it feels perfectly natural (even if his idea of relaxation involves wearing all of his clothes including jeans while mine does not). It is going to be a little bittersweet tomorrow when we leave what will now be known as our first vacation.  It was a lovely respite filled with plenty of great memories and much to celebrate.

I cannot wait to see what the next adventure brings!