Everyone's a critic

Am I the only one who has noticed that lately, it seems like everyone's a critic?  Perhaps it is due to the proliferation of HGTV, the Food Network and Pinterest.  Maybe I am being a little too sensitive.  I have noticed it everywhere in my life.  Yesterday, The Man was criticizing the architecture of the National Park Service building in front of the Lincoln Home in Springfield, and it made me think.  Is all of this criticism really constructive?  He was talking about a building built in the 1960's.  It looks like it was built in the 1960's, and not the 1840's.  Admittedly, the building does look out of place in the historic area, but it has its merits (such as air conditioning on a 93 degree day).  I found it disconcerting that he was so quick to criticize the appearance of the building, and not consider the greater purpose that the building served.  We are supposed to be appreciating the contributions of a great man, not comparing mid nineteenth century architecture to the gravel streets and boardwalks.

Another example in my life is my manager's insistence on her employees adapting to her personal vocabulary beliefs.  She does not like it when people say "no problem" after someone says "thank you." She feels that saying no problem implies that her request was a problem in the first place and is quick to lecture anyone who says "no problem" in her presence. Needless to say, this is becoming a problem. The latest on her list of forbidden expressions is the word "whatnot," as it is a word that does not make sense.  I have a feeling that "nonsense" is the next on her hit list. These edicts are truly ironic because they are coming from a woman who does not have a firm grasp on the differences between there, their and they're.  Sometimes, it is just best to quietly laugh to yourself or whatnot.  I found this handy dandy little chart on Pinterest, perhaps sharing it will help others.

In the end, it does not matter where your opinion is coming from.  You are free to express it.  But please make sure you use proper grammar.  Otherwise, I might become critical.

Getting Back on Track

Well readers, It has been a while.

As you could tell from the last few posts, and the lack of posting, this Happiness Warrior hit a dry spell.  I needed some time to regroup, gather my thoughts and get myself back on track.  In hindsight, it probably would have been worthwhile to post this part of my journey, but I still have problems sharing everything.  Here are some quick updates.  I have come a very long way on my journey, and I hope you will continue to follow me as I make this a weekly update.  To help make this a weekly update, I have found a little gizmo on my phone that sets weekly reminders and continues to annoy me until I do so and clear it.

1) The Man.  We are still going strong.  We had our first family visit in Seattle in April, and are planning to visit my family in ATL later this year.  We have officially been together for more than one year, and are starting to plan a more permanent future together.  Stay tuned for our search for the perfect suburb.  I will not sugar coat everything. Serious issues come with serious relationships, and I am dealing with a few. The man is wonderful and supportive and we can talk through just about anything.

2) The Job.  I am much happier in my current work environment.  I have wonderful co-workers, one in particular just might be a friend for life. There is still room for improvement, but I made a great move and am exponentially happier than I was in my previous workplace.  Now, I have to concentrate on finding an actual career that I want to commit to.

3) The besties.  They are still the best.  We have all had some hectic schedules lately, but are still making time for each other each week.  I am excited to attend the T-ball of some bestie progeny this Thursday.

4) Pinterest.  This is the bane of my existence lately.  It is a black hole of creativity.  I have a love/hate relationship with it.  I have found that it was easier to set up a board of projets that I have done to keep track of what I have tried.  I am doing well with my crochet projects, pictures can be seen on my 365 blog.  I am currently nursing an obsession with maps, and scrabble projects.  Those will be posted as they are done.

In the past few months, I have had to adjust some of my expectations, revise a few goals, and learn that it is ok to ask for help.  In the coming months, I plan on training outside for my first 5K in August, continuing to work on getting my Christmas presents and cards squared away before November, and keep working on my bucket list, yearly goals, and home goals.  It will be quite a ride.  I will continue to update weekly, and ask for help.

Valentines Day

Valentine's Day.  The single girl's equivalent of the atom bomb.  As a proud single girl, I was very happy to get some single girlfriends together, dress in all black and share rich food.  We called this tradition Valencraps Day.  I realize that this might seem weird to some, and like great fun for others, but it worked for me.  Until this year.

This year, I have the man in my life.  While this is a happy change, I do find myself feeling under pressure.  This is THE FIRST Valentine's day.  What do I get the man as a proper token of my affections? It is our first Valentines day, so a standard will be set. It is also on a Tuesday night, will he be willing to switch days with my mom?  Am I really caught in some kind of dispute about my time?  It is almost too much pressure.  Here is what I do know.  It will all work itself out. While I often accuse the man of being slow to change his ways, perhaps I need to change a few of mine. I certainly hope that Valencraps day will continue, we will just have to call it something else (and obviously hold it on a different day).  And if someone decides to celebrate Valencraps day and I am not invited, I understand that as well.  For now, I will continue to think about Valentines day, and decorate.  I came up with this display tonight.

It is the PartyLite Large Change-O Luminary with the red LED Pillar Candle.  Any red candle will work though.

Raindrops on Roses...

I had a rough weekend.  Rather than dwell on the past, I am going to focus on the future.  I know that I have to get myself in the frame of mind to be happy first.  These thoughts are not new.  The first time I remember hearing them was in the Sound of Music.  Most recently, I have been reading "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting".  This book also teaches that you feel better and attract more positive things in your life by being happy, even if you have to will yourself happy.  So, maybe Julie Andrews was onto something when she said "I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad" (did you sing that line too? Bet it made you smile :) ).  In the spirit of forcing myself to vibrate at a more positive level here are some of my favorite things.  In no particular order:

Peanut Butter, shoes, butterflies, sheets that are fresh out of the dryer, traveling, warm woolly blankets, crocheting, cashmere, Auntie Deany's hot chocolate, reading a really good book (might I recommend the Hunger Games?), snuggling with the man, laughing with the besties, bonding with my mom, hanging out with my dad, hugs from loved ones, bubble baths, my shoe closet, candles, good movies, fresh lavender, lilies,  Intervention, antique pins, a great glass of wine, cheese, the zoo, the botanical garden, museum days.

Perhaps it is the power of suggestion, but after thinking about these things, I really do feel happier.

Starting the week off right...

I am going to start this week off right.  Last week was not the best week ever, so I will have to make this one be the best.  I have a new tv, a newly cleaned drain, one less sweater crudding up the closet, and I am going to explore the wide world of grocery stores on Monday nights.  I am going to turn each negative into a positive this week.  There is no other way!

Plus, the business is going to be in full swing with this deal... Do you love Glo-Lite candles as much as I do?  Let me know!

Compassion

Compassion:  A sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it. - Webster's Dictionary

I do not consider myself a very compassionate person.  I try.  I really do at times, but I get bogged down in the mess.  I have a very hard time feeling sorry for other people when there are ways that I can see to avoid the situations that were created.  A part of me feels like compassion enables these people to keep doing whatever it is that is creating their distress.  For instance, a compassionate person would not have texted the man "Seeing as to how you still have the ability to text, I  would say it is safe to say that your brain is intact", they would have been more sympathetic to his concerns about his brain. They certainly would have never suggested to web md the issue at hand.  Clearly, this is a virtue that I need to work on.

Here is the million dollar question for me.  How does being compassionate make you happier?  There are numerous studies that show that people who help others feel happier.  Volunteers are compassionate, as are nurses, teachers, counselors, and veterinarians.  And so I begin my own little journey of learning compassion.  It will be a tough one. I have had mixed reviews.  The man said "being compassionate may kill you...and I know that wasn't compassionate".  The besties were supportive yet skeptical.  My mom was not quite sure how this will work out.  If these reactions are not a huge indicator of a quality that needs to be developed, I do not know what is.  Now is not the time for tough love.  It is a time of being sympathetic to others and trying to help.

I am still not sure exactly where to start on this journey of learning compassion.  My mom suggested looking up the definition (which was a huge eye opener).  For now I will focus on being sympathetic to other's distress, and not make it worse.  This means sending more supportive texts, and responding with the appropriate amount of feeling and less sarcasm.  I am still not sure how good I will be at this, but it is clear to me that any improvement will be a vast one from where I stand now.

In a Perfect World.

So the plan today was to write a blog about my version of the perfect week.  To put it bluntly, it is not going to happen for me this week.  I am not able to run, as I have developed a wicked case of shin splints.  I went out to dinner tonight instead of cooking myself the absolute healthiest dinner I could scrounge up.  I overslept and did not get my hair dried before I left the house, and it went downhill from there.  This is not my version of the perfect week.  Or is it?

Tonight, while out to the aforementioned dinner with a new friend, it hit me.  Nothing is perfect, and that in and of itself makes things perfect.  Perhaps I need to revise my version of the perfect week to include things like going out to dinner and getting both wine and dessert.  Perfection can include leaving some dishes in the sink so that I can get to bed early.  Like I was telling my friend, perfection is not all it is cracked up to be.  In fact, I am thinking it is exhausting. 

In a perfect world, we would all be doing things correctly, and we would probably all look the same, and I for one, would be cranky from lack of sleep.  We are all deeply flawed, but it is precisely those flaws that make each of us perfectly unique.  It is simply finding the correct combination of flaws that work together in perfect harmony to create the perfect friendship, relationship or family.